2 Broke Girls Quotes
Caroline: I can't believe you're putting your financial future into the hands of a hipster tax place called "The Tax of Life".
Max: You know how the old proverb goes. "You take the good, you take the bad. You take what's left, and there you have the tax of life."
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Earl: Max, you got a stamp? I wanna drop this off in the mail on my way home.
Max: I have one in my purse. I'll just get it.
Caroline: Max, he wants to file this year. He doesn't have time for the search party to go into your purse and return.
Max: Hey, it's a purse. It's supposed to be messy.
Caroline: No, it's supposed to be a purse, not a retirement home for a pair of panties stuck to old lifesavers.
Earl: I'm kinda off my meal now.
- Permalink: Max, you got a stamp? I wanna drop this off in the mail on my wa...
Oleg: Chicken breast, side of hot sauce.
Max: Breast? Hot sauce? Come on, it's right there.
Oleg: Max, now that I have big love for Sophie, I no longer say inappropriate sexual things to other women. I save all my hot sauce for her breasts.
Max: Love has made you a real old lady.
- Permalink: Chicken breast, side of hot sauce. Breast? Hot sauce? Come on,...
I wanted to scream, but it wouldn't come out.Caroline
- Permalink: I wanted to scream, but it wouldn't come out.
This is not like me, the only thing I've ever lost is my virginity.Caroline
- Permalink: This is not like me, the only thing I've ever lost is my virgini...
Earl: Today is April 16th do you know what tomorrow is?
Han: Oh, happy Martin Luther King Day. Have a drink on me.
Earl: It's not Martin Luther King Day; black people are allowed to be excited about other days.
Han: Oh, is there a new Tyler Perry moving coming out?
- Permalink: Today is April 16th do you know what tomorrow is? Oh, happy Ma...
A pill! Could be birth control, could be XTC, waiting for a day off to find out. Why wait? [swallows pill] If I start touching your hair in an hour, don't let me have sex with anyone!Max
- Permalink: A pill! Could be birth control, could be XTC, waiting for a day ...
Max: Yes, I'm her registered emotional companion.
Leo: Well, this is a legal proceeding and that's a highly unusual request.
Caroline: But not improbable. We googled it.
Max: Yeah, she's allowed to have an emotional companion as long as both attorneys agree.
Leo: Well, I graduated top of my class at Harvard. But, since you googled it, I'll try to make that happen.
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Caroline: What's the point? Clearly, I've already lost the game of life, 'cause I'm sitting in a drug trial waiting for my "A" to "L."
Max: Well, if your "A" does start to "L," you're on the bottom bunk.
- Permalink: What's the point? Clearly, I've already lost the game of life, '...