2 Broke Girls

2 Broke Girls Quotes (Page 5)

Season 1 Episode 11: "And The Reality Check"

Caroline: I was cooold! And she thought she knew weather patterns!
Max: Are you high?
Caroline: Well. Maybe a little
 • Rating: Unrated

Max: Yea that's snow when you're rich! The only snow angels you'll see this year, are the six crack addicts frozen to our stoop.
 • Rating: Unrated

Max: So what's the plan? What are we gonna do if it does snow? You're so white, I'm worried weíre gonna lose you.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Earl: I couldn't tell when my first wife was coming, but I can sure tell when a storm is coming.
 • Rating: 1.0 / 5.0

Max: Hipsters listen to?
Han: Radiohead!
Max: Homeless listen to?
Han: The voices in their head.
 • Rating: 2.0 / 5.0

Han: Max, why did you kick out the hipsters?
Max: Because I cannot be in the background of another Instagram photo!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 1 Episode 10: "And the Very Christmas Thanksgiving"

Caroline: I'd double-check those tights if I were you.
 • Rating: Unrated

Max: Whoa! Slow down, Speedracer.
Caroline: I know, I can't stop talking, what was in the stuff you gave me?
Max: I don't know, the ingredients were in Spanish.
Caroline: Well, my corazon is speeding muy rapido!
 • Rating: Unrated

Caroline: Come on, let's get in line! I've always loved Santa World!
Max: Me too, as a David Sedaris story. Not as an actual real-life option.
 • Rating: Unrated

Earl: All right, I'm feeling y'all! I'll bring the pie! My mother used to make the best chocolate pie. I remember one time she got so mad at this white lady she worked for, she took the chocolate pie to the bathroom... no hold on, that was from The Help.
 • Rating: Unrated

Max: Oh let me guess, you'd fly someplace like the Bahamas, lay by the pool, and he'd light other people's stolen money by the fire.
Caroline: No, we'd rent out the Waldorf-Astoria ballroom to feed the homeless.
Max: Don't look at me right now.
 • Rating: Unrated

Caroline: Max, I'm not doing cocaine.
Max: If we could afford cocaine, we could afford a mixer!
 • Rating: Unrated

Oleg: Fifty dollars for a hamburger? For that much money, it should eat me first.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Mary: My second favorite Christmas movie is It's A Wonderful Life!
Caroline: Mine too!
Max: I have Schindler's List on Blu-Ray.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Season 1 Episode 9: "And The Really Petty Cash"

Max: I kissed Johnny
Caroline: What?! When?
Max: He came by the apartment right after you left.
Caroline: I was only gone twenty minutes. What did you do, shine a bat symbol on your vagina?
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Caroline: I also learned she's a dancer, her lip gloss is from Kiehl's, and she's school chums with Adele.
Max: Not THE Adele! Damn, could she be any cooler? I want her to be my girlfriend. I wouldn't break up with her for me.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Max: You're not my type anyway! You're a bartender who's close to liquor all night, and you're not an alcoholic. So, clearly, you don't know how to seize an opportunity.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Max: Hey! You don't need to go all Hallmark Presents Johnny Soft Eyes on me.
 • Rating: Unrated

Caroline: Are you sure you're ok?
Max: Are you about to come over here and soft touch me?
Caroline: I want to so bad!
Max: Leave! Go to the coffee shop and soft touch the barista.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Max: Giving in to feelings is for rich people! Regular people just have to get up, get drunk, and go fulfill their babysitting duties.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

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