I will only have one, when I get a tummy, ladies call me Budha a rub me for luck.


What are you in the league of extraordinarily pretentious gentlemen?


Steampunk! I remember that fad, it lasted for about 10 minutes back in two-thousand-and-are you kidding me?


Max: Wait, you've never kissed her?
Oleg: Not on the lips of her face. But that day will come.

Caroline: Sometime you do something you're not comfortable with. It's how you grow.
Max: No, it's how you get a ride home from a kegger in the woods.

Caroline: See success!
Max: Scaring people into participating is not success, it's Scientology.

Dutch Girl: We put the fun in Funnel, you can spell funnel without "fun"
Caroline: Or F. U.

Catherine: You can't spell focus without "us".
Max: Or F. U.

Earl: Hello Sophie, if you looked any sweeter, you would fire up my diabetes.
Sophie: Oh Earl, you wouldn't be the first man to lose a limb over me.

Han: Hey everybody, I got it!
Oleg: Don't worry, at least you caught it in the early stages.

Caroline: How did ketchup get this hard?
Max: You just hold it in your hand like this and say, "You're the best ketchup I've ever had."

Caroline: I can't believe you're putting your financial future into the hands of a hipster tax place called "The Tax of Life".
Max: You know how the old proverb goes. "You take the good, you take the bad. You take what's left, and there you have the tax of life."

2 Broke Girls Quotes

Just because there is snow on the roof, doesn't mean there is not swing in the sling


You think this (clicking the fingers) is the sound that gets you service, I think that´s the sound that dries up my vagina.