Liz: Lizzing is a combination of laughing and whizzing.• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Jack: The closest I came to vomiting tonight is when I saw Ann Coulter's shoulder blades.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Jack: [to Tracy] Your contract expressly prohibits dangerous activities, like extreme sports or riding the subway on St. Patrick's Day.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Tracy: If you have a spaceship and you're looking for a hilarious astronaut with an irregular heartbeat and $30 million, I am prepared to leave as soon as tomorrow. I wrote that yesterday.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Liz: What thing with the belt? Don't hang up, I have a lot of belted objects!
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Liz: Oh, right, sorry, my mail has been piling up and I keep forgetting to buy toilet paper.
Jack: What is that supposed to mean?
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Tracy: What is this, Horseville? Because I'm surrounded by naysayers. Wordplay!
Liz: That is solid.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Jack: I'm going to find out what was in the box, buy it with money, and it's going to make me happy. And if that doesn't work, I'm going to Benjamin Button myself.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Frank: My god, He's mortal!
Lutz: What just happened!?
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Dennis: Former sexual partner, I'm sorry my disease made you a victim of my sexual charisma. I'm sorry I ruined you for other men.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
1
2
Total Quotes: 20
