[to Liz] Was describing your sandwich in detail necessary to our understanding of what happened?


My mom used to send me articles about how older virgins are considered good luck in Mexico.


Pete: Happy?
Liz: No, not since I was a child.

The more people you add, the less effective it is. Like a neighborhood dad garage band.


You know my fontanelle never closed!


[on bed bugs] Looks like you got a bad case of the chew-daddies. Ozark kisses? The woodsman's companion?


It's going to be a disaster! Like Katrina! Do you remember Katrina, that crazy girl from hair and make-up?


Liz: Sorry I'm not a robot!
Jack: We all are.

Liz, I need to speak with you. Beat it, Grizz or Dot com.


In my defense, I didn't know that Cathy Geiss was going to finish her song by taking off her underpants.


Black people, I know I've said a lot of terrible things about you in print, but I come here today on a mission of peace.


Jack: I say we hire the one who lives by the code of the robot: Care. Love. Live.

30 Rock Season 4 Episode 5 Quotes

I don't have bed bugs, Kenneth. I went to Princeton.


For my first character, I'd like to do a janitor who has finally had enough and stabs everyone.