Banks: How'd you get these DNA results back so fast?
Jack: I happen to have some very powerful friends at The Maury Povich Show.

Damn it! Why do I keep helping you? I'll just do anything for approval. I would have been a Nazi.

Liz

For every orphan Annie, there's a 30-year-old Russian dwarf who's just pretending to be a child, according to a movie that I watched part of.

Liz

Jack: How much time and energy have we wasted with our sparring and our gravel-voiced double entendre?
Banks: An ass-load.

Jack: You also know Jack Donaghy always wins, or have you forgotten the time we played Battleship? Remember A-8?
Devon Banks: You peeked!

Liz: Have you ever updated your Flash player? It is so sad. What happens to version 11.4?
Jack: Oh, what now?
Liz, yelling: I'm taking hormone shots to have a baby you son of a bitch!

Are you doping, Liz Lemon? That stuff will shrink your testicles, but there are bad side effects as well.

Tracy

Tracy: Point is, I won't be at rehearsal all this week.
Liz: No, Tracy!
Tracy: Exactly. No Tracy. Thanks for being so understanding.

30 Rock Season 7 Episode 9 Quotes

Are you doping, Liz Lemon? That stuff will shrink your testicles, but there are bad side effects as well.

Tracy

Tracy: Point is, I won't be at rehearsal all this week.
Liz: No, Tracy!
Tracy: Exactly. No Tracy. Thanks for being so understanding.