[on L.A.] Everyone there smiles creepily, all the time. And that's sort of my thing.

Kenneth

You can't force the fate, you just have to let it wash over you like a spray tan that won't take because your skin is too oily.

Liz

Let's meet up later and smoke some drug cigarettes!

Kenneth

[about Sully] You know what a great pilot would have done? Not hit the birds. That's what I do every day, not hit birds. Where's my ticket to the Grammys?

Carroll

Yes, I wrote that! I write all the Fart Doctors!

Liz

I know. People wear flip flops to church, and the NBA tattoo situation is out of control.

Liz

You can't delude yourself into thinking you can combine them into one perfect woman, like a Smore you can take a shower with.

Jack

Do a sloppy job and they'll leave you alone. That's how I got out of foreplay with Angie ... and my taxes.

Tracy

Our minds are already one, as our bodies soon shall be.

Wesley
Displaying quotes 10 - 18 of 23 in total