You embarrassed me in front of all the other mothers! If you think you're going to Sizzler tonight Jenna, you've got another thing coming!

Jenna [to Kenneth]

I personally love cop shows. I can't wait for Law and Order to start back up...Why? It was a tent pole! A tent pole!

Tracy

Liz: I don't know if he's mentioned this to you a hundred times, but he went to Harvard.
Jack: So we know he's smart and superb at masturbation.

I would point to Sunday Night Football which features many black players and coaches.

Jack

Just a pageant? That's like say a guy is cool 'cause he has just a speedboat.

Jenna

What if we have to stay over night, and there aren't enough rooms, and we have to share a room, and I forgot to bring a shirt to sleep in, and the stores are all closed...

Jonathan [to Jack]

Hey, will you ask Congress where they put the USA Network. I've been trying to find Monk for like three months.

Liz [to Jack]
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