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You know what family means to me Lemon? Resentment, guilt, anger, Easter egg hunts that turn into knife fights.


Liz: If I have learned anything from my SIMS family: When a child doesn't see his father enough he starts to jump up and down, then his mood level with drop until he pees himself.

I feel like you're not telling me something, Jack. Lemme guess. You bought a sidecar for your motorcycle and your dog won't stay in it.


My love child tracked me down. I was scared, shocked, angry. Like a dog in a sidecar when it comes loose from the motorcycle.


This is the defining thing of my life. It's not gonna be that hit-and-run!


Once I'm in the building I can get in the cafeteria. And that means free ice.


I do have a hard time telling ages with black - shoes are the best kind of shoes.


Don't push it Liz, let it happen. There's gonna be a Mama Mia!


She texts her gay friends while I write 'til four in the morning eating dry fistfuls of Raisin Bean to stay awake, which, by the way, is how I'm able to ride the fart train to work every day.


The Greens are sharp as a tack right to the end. Which makes the end more terrifying. My father died screaming.

Professor Green

I'm sorry, did you just snort at our House majority leader?


When he saw these (reveals shoes) he asked me when my cult was committing suicide.

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30 Rock Season 3 Episode 21 Quotes

Help mommy's baby.


Liz Lemon, I may hug people too hard and get lost at malls, but I'm not an idiot.