It was reality TV. It can be good. It can be terrible. It just can't be anything in between.

Jack

It was our highest rating since that episode of SVU when the detectives watched American Idol.

Jack

First of all, I look weird there because I'm snarting.

Liz

Five years ago I saved your show! I rode in here on a white horse that you made me leave in the lobby.

Tracy

Liz: Your online romance prank was not funny. I fell in love with you!
Tracy: You wore a yellow hat to that coffee shop.

Someone get a PA to feed me baby food or I will drop a d in the green room.

Jenna

Fantastic Jenna. You really brought the song-writing computer's words to life.

Jack

Two days ago when people thought of a mudslide they just thought of getting drunk at an Applebee's.

Robert DeNiro

Liz: I hope you didn't have plans tonight.
Tracy: No. I wasn't going to buy two blimps and crash them into each other to see what kind of sound they made.

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