30 Rock Season 1 Episode 1: "Pilot" Quotes
Liz: Whoa, excuse me, there's a line, buddy.
Man: There's two lines.
Liz: No. No, there's one line; we're in it.
Man: I'm just getting a hot dog.
Liz: We're all getting hot dogs! What, you think there's two lines and we're all in this line? You're the only genius who got in the other line? Can you believe this guy?
- Permalink: Whoa, excuse me, there's a line, buddy. There's two lines. N...
Liz: Where's Gary?
Jack: Gary's dead. I'm Jack Donaghy. New VP of development for NBC/GE/Universal/Kmart.
Pete: Oh, we own Kmart now?
Jack: No. Why are you dressed like we do?
- Permalink: Where's Gary? Gary's dead. I'm Jack Donaghy. New VP of develop...
Affirmative action was designed to keep women and minorities in competition with each other to distract us while white dudes inject AIDS into our chicken nuggets.Tracy
- Permalink: Affirmative action was designed to keep women and minorities in ...
Liz: I'm not like these girls, Tracy. I don't have sex for money!
Stripper: Neither do we!
Tracy: Neither do they! [mouthing silently] Yes they do!
- Permalink: I'm not like these girls, Tracy. I don't have sex for money! N...
Jack: Alfredo. 2 p.m.
Liz: I'm not dressed for that.
Jack: You're dressed for Burger King. Should we make it Burger King?
- Permalink: Alfredo. 2 p.m. I'm not dressed for that. You're dressed for...
You know how pissed off I was when US Weekly said that I was on crack? That's racist! I'm not on crack. I'm straight-up mentally ill!Tracy
- Permalink: You know how pissed off I was when US Weekly said that I was on ...
Jack: Are you familiar with the GE tri-vection oven?
Liz: I don't cook very much.
Jack: Sure... I gotcha. New York, third-wave feminist, college-educated, single and pretending to be happy about it, over-scheduled, undersexed, you buy any magazine that says "healthy body image" on the cover, and every two years you take up knitting for ... a week.
Pete: That is dead on!
Liz: What, are you going to guess my weight now?
Jack: You don't want me to do that.
- Permalink: Are you familiar with the GE tri-vection oven? I don't cook ve...
[to Liz] I like you. You have the boldness of a much younger woman.Jack
- Permalink: I like you. You have the boldness of a much younger woman.
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