I was trapped in a world of wet wipes and rectal thermometers. Then the babies came and life changed.


Kenneth: How was substitute teaching sir?
Pete: Just like Lean On Me, in that a guy who looks like Morgan Freeman swung a bat at me.

This isn't even baby vomit on my jacket. It's mine. All mine.


Jack, we've been waiting almost an hour for this Banks fella. The only explanation I can think of is that he keeps stopping to perform good deeds.


These aren't babies, they're organ farms.


Aaron Sorkin: We make horse buggies; the first Model T just rolled into town.
Liz: We're dinosaurs.
Aaron Sorkin: We don't need two metaphors. That's bad writing, not that it matters.

Aaron Sorkin: I'm Aaron Sorkin. The West Wing, A Few Good Men, The Social Network...
Liz: Studio 60.
Aaron Sorkin: Shut up.

I tracked him down to an address in Brooklyn. He's on LinkedIn, Lemon. He might as well be dead.


He's a gay shark, like the actor who played Jaws.

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