My instincts have never let me down. Except for that eclipse.

Jennifer

Thanks, it's my own recipe. I use cheddar cheese instead of water.

Liz

OK, I guess we just jumped ahead to date four.

Liz

Mandy. Is that a male friend, like Mandy Patinkin?

Liz

I found it on my favorite web site ... stop showing off, Dot com!

Tracy

I have faith ... in things that I can buy and sell and deregulate. Capitalism is my religion.

Jack

I once declared 'I am God' during a deposition.

Jack

I need backup! Harvard did not prepare me for this.

Priest

Kenneth, why do you suddenly sound white?

Jennifer

I may have sodomized our former vice president while under the influence of some weapons grade narcotics. Oh, it feels good to say that one out loud actually. That one was weighing on me.

Jack

I believe we were brought together by the most successful capitalist enterprise in the history of the world. Despite the McLean Deluxe and the MickeyMoo.

Jack

Jack: Oh, come on Lemon, what is this? A green card thing?
Liz: No.
Jack: Closet case?
Liz: I don't think so.
Jack: Slump buster?
Liz: No, he's not a ballplayer.
Jack: Bundy-esque serial killer?
Liz: That was my first thought, but no. This is actually happening, and I'm blowing it.

30 Rock Season 3 Episode 11 Quotes

Jack: Oh, come on Lemon, what is this? A green card thing?
Liz: No.
Jack: Closet case?
Liz: I don't think so.
Jack: Slump buster?
Liz: No, he's not a ballplayer.
Jack: Bundy-esque serial killer?
Liz: That was my first thought, but no. This is actually happening, and I'm blowing it.

How dare you say such things so close to the statue of Santa Lucia, patron saint of judgmental statues!

Elisa