TV Fanatic Works Better with Prime Instant Video
40,000 other titles are available to watch now.

Why don't you come back home to TGS and pick the peas out of my fried rice... and the rice. I just want carrots.

Tracy

The writers can't take a car service at night anymore. I've crunched the numbers and it's cheaper for us to just replace anyone who gets murdered.

Jenna

Liz: This is one of the three things I like: Ina Garten, sweater weather and...
Carol: When Muppets present at awards shows?

Toofer: Did you ever see a UFO up there?
Carol: No but once when I was in the Air Force I saw Mr. T in a Pizza Hut.

Liz: The next time you hallucinate just tell yourself "this is not real. I am in control of this."
Tracy: Like the World Cup.

Kenneth! I knew you'd come back. Let me smell your head.

Tracy

Liz: The bathrooms are so much cleaner than at home... I don't know how they do it.
Jack: They clean them.

... then I need you to be back by noon to make the bathroom smell like sandalwood before I wreck it.

Tracy

Jack: Lemon why do you keep spending so much money on Wigs?
Liz: Tracy's head size keeps changing.

The Harry Potter theme park is a huge hit with both anglophiles and pedophiles.

Jack

Liz: Who flies Newark to Atlantic City?
Carol: Black bachelorette parties.

I'm in Lambert-St. Louis and I can see the Arch from here. No wait, that's a half burned down McDonald's.

Carol
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 15 in total

30 Rock Season 5 Episode 1 Quotes

Jack: My naturally blonde lady love and I basked in the three S's: surf, sun and ...
Liz: Sandwiches?

No Tom Jones, no!

Liz (wakes up)