The Harry Potter theme park is a huge hit with both anglophiles and pedophiles.


Liz: Who flies Newark to Atlantic City?
Carol: Black bachelorette parties.

I'm in Lambert-St. Louis and I can see the Arch from here. No wait, that's a half burned down McDonald's.


You sound weird... do you have a beard?


Jack: My naturally blonde lady love and I basked in the three S's: surf, sun and ...
Liz: Sandwiches?

No Tom Jones, no!

Liz (wakes up)
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