My outside is shiny and pretty, but my inside is filled with cardboard and horse glue.

Jenna

She has the brain of a man, and the ass of a French teenager.

Jack

Siri, bring Jessica Tandy back to life.

Tracy

Are you crying 'cause there are no roles for actresses in their 40s?

Tracy (to Jenna)

Liz: I don't want to be with Spencer!
Criss: And yet you're silent about Grant.

Playing psychosexual mind games IS our normal, Lemon.

Jack

What do people not want to talk about? Soccer, jazz, infidelity.

Jack

You wear the pants Liz. You don't necessarily pull them off, because of your hips, but you wear them.

Jenna

I heard her ask her bear who the die job is.

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