This ought to prove my mother wrong, saying Donaghy is Gaelic for failure. What the hell does she know, she's a Murphy; Bunch of mud farmers and sheep rapists.

Jack

Jack: Steven's good, man, he's on partner track at Dewey and he's a Black.
Liz: A black!? That's offensive.
Jack: No, no. That's his name. Steven Black... good family. Remarkable people, the Blacks, musical, very athletic, not very good swimmers. Again I'm talking about the family. Black is African-American, though.
Liz: Well I don't care about that.

Ridikolus: What's your game?
Kenneth: Boggle.

If you get rich off this stuff just take care of my family. I don't want my kids to have to go to college.

Tracy

Now as you may have read in Robert Parker's wine newsletter, "Donaghy Estates tastes like Satan's urine after a hefty portion of asparagus."

Jack

Death sentence number two. Shooting people at the source awards is a tradition. It's like Christmas or like shooting outside of HOT 97.

Tracy

I gotta take a break. I can't drink any more of this... my tummy is killing me.

Ghostface Killah

Jenna: Steven played the race card. What did you do?
Liz: What could I do? I picked up the check and made out with him a little bit in the taxi.

Ridikolus: What color plane are you want to buy?
Jack: Clear... like Wonder Woman's.

Tracy: I'm just going through the classic stages of grief; fear, denial, horniness, wisdom, sleepiness and now depression.
Kenneth: What about anger?
Tracy: No! I don't wanna do anger and you can't make me!

You can't solve all your problems by shooting someone or setting a stranger on fire.

Liz

Jack: Don't be ridiculous.
Ridikolus: I am Ridikolus.

30 Rock Season 1 Episode 16 Quotes

Liz: I truly don't like you as a person. [inspirational music plays] Can't one human being not like another human being? Can't we all just not get along?
Steven: Liz, I wish it could be like that... and maybe someday our children or our children's children will hate each other like that, but it just doesn't work that way today.
Liz: So what you're saying is that any woman that doesn't like you is a racist.
Steven: No, no, no, no, no. Some women are gay.

If you get rich off this stuff, just take care of my family. I don't want my kids to have to go to college.

Tracy