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Jenna: Ok, start from the beginning.
Lawyer: Well the plaintiff's deposition alleges that...
Tracy: No, further back. What kind of dinosaur was your grandfather?

Thank you for calling Florida emergency services. If this is about an anaconda in a crawl space, press one.

Operator

Jack: I can give you a season pass to Universal's Harry Potter World.
Liz: Ok, I am not some kind of nerdery slut. I like Star Wars!

I love my mother, Lemon, obviously because of Stockholm Syndrome.

Jack

My grandfather's purple heart...it's terrible what alcoholism can do to the body.

Jack

Liz: Did you get my gift?
Jack: I assumed it was the bottle of wine with the card reading "Dear Doritos, what about just selling bags full of your dust? I could put it on chicken or fish..."

Wonderful news? The last time I said that was when my pet News learned the true meaning of Christmas. Classic Tracy. You'll miss this.

Tracy

Banks: How'd you get these DNA results back so fast?
Jack: I happen to have some very powerful friends at The Maury Povich Show.

Damn it! Why do I keep helping you? I'll just do anything for approval. I would have been a Nazi.

Liz

For every orphan Annie, there's a 30-year-old Russian dwarf who's just pretending to be a child, according to a movie that I watched part of.

Liz

Jack: How much time and energy have we wasted with our sparring and our gravel-voiced double entendre?
Banks: An ass-load.

Jack: You also know Jack Donaghy always wins, or have you forgotten the time we played Battleship? Remember A-8?
Devon Banks: You peeked!

Displaying quotes 25 - 36 of 1442 in total

30 Rock Quotes

Ambition is the willingness to kill the things you love and eat them in order to stay alive. Haven't you ever read my throw pillow?

Jack

I do have a hard time telling ages with black - shoes are the best kind of shoes.

Liz