Season 3, Episode 22: "Kidney Now!"
Mary J. Blige: My Mary J. Blige Foundation is celebrating its 10th year of searching for the Loch Ness Monster.• Rating: 9.3 / 10 • Permalink
Jack: I haven't seen this many riled up dirtbags since CVS started to put the cold medicine behind the counter.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Jack: I don't know. But I have the entire liberal media establishment at my disposal, the same manipulation machine that got Barack Obama elected and donate all of that money for Rainstorm Katrina.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Tracy: [on his high school classmate] We called him Mean Steve. But his real name was Steven Killer.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Liz: Nope, your fiance's gay. Look at him. Pure case of fruit blindness.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Kenneth: Science was my most favorite subject, especially the Old Testament.
• Rating: 9.0 / 10 • Permalink
Jack: Since Giuliani left it's getting harder to harvest hobo organs.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Jack: Professor Milton Green, who's working on a three volume biography of Jimmy Carter, and if I give him a kidney he might, just might, live long enough to finish it.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Liz: There's no such thing as bisexual. That's just something invented in the 90s so they could sell more hair products.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Season 3, Episode 21: "Mamma Mia"
Jack: You know what family means to me Lemon? Resentment, guilt, anger, Easter egg hunts that turn into knife fights.• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Total Quotes: 545
