Liz: Okay, this is gonna sound really weird. But, um, you need to wear a bra.
Cerie: Oh, no. I... I don't actually. They kinda just stay up on their own.

Liz: Um, yeah, okay. What I'm saying is you need to wear a bra to work if you wanna be taken seriously in this business.
Cerie: Oh, but I don't actually wanna work in television. Career-wise, I'm just gonna marry rich and design handbags.
Liz: Here's the thing. The way you dress is making some people around the office... uncomfortable.
Cerie: Really? Who?

Pete: Oh my god! Wha... what are you wearing?!
Frank: You're making me gay.
Liz: It's a joke, obviously. I'm wearing this as a joke. Bunch of comedy writers don't know a joke, jeez. [goes to her office]
Frank: I just threw up in my mouth.
Liz: I said it's a joke!

Jack: Are you familiar with the Japanese art of Reiki?
Liz: No.
Jack: It is the laying on of hands in order to improve one's life.
Liz: How does your life improve? Do the hands have money in them?

You're trying to bring logic to the Robot-Bear sketch?

Liz

Liz: Why does he always assume we're lesbians?
Gretchen: I am a lesbian.

Liz: What made you think I was gay?
Jack: Your shoes.
Liz: Well, I'm straight.
Jack: Those shoes are definitely bi-curious.

Jack: Poker night? How many play?
Liz: Oh, you're not going to come to our crappy poker night, are you?
Jack: No, I'm not going to come.
Liz: [relieved] Good!
Jack: I bluffed. I am coming.

You are a puzzle, Kenneth Ellen, and I'm going to solve you. Yes I am.

Jack
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