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If you get rich off this stuff just take care of my family. I don't want my kids to have to go to college.

Tracy

Now as you may have read in Robert Parker's wine newsletter, "Donaghy Estates tastes like Satan's urine after a hefty portion of asparagus."

Jack

Death sentence number two. Shooting people at the source awards is a tradition. It's like Christmas or like shooting outside of HOT 97.

Tracy

I gotta take a break. I can't drink any more of this... my tummy is killing me.

Ghostface Killah

Jenna: Steven played the race card. What did you do?
Liz: What could I do? I picked up the check and made out with him a little bit in the taxi.

Ridikolus: What color plane are you want to buy?
Jack: Clear... like Wonder Woman's.

Tracy: I'm just going through the classic stages of grief; fear, denial, horniness, wisdom, sleepiness and now depression.
Kenneth: What about anger?
Tracy: No! I don't wanna do anger and you can't make me!

You can't solve all your problems by shooting someone or setting a stranger on fire.

Liz

Jack: Don't be ridiculous.
Ridikolus: I am Ridikolus.

Ridikolus: Aww man you didn't just skuff these shoes. P Diddy wears these shoes.
Kenneth: Oh, will he be mad when you give them back?

Jack: The Game?
Tracy: Nope.
Jack: T.I.?
Tracy: It not happenin.
Jack: Super head?
Tracy: No can do.
Jack: Fabolous?
Tracy: Wont do.
Jack: Redonkeykong?
Tracy: Nope.
Jack: MC Skat Kat?
Tracy: What?
Jack: HoMONKulus?
Tracy: Uh-uh.
Jack: Raw Dog?
Tracy: Hell no! Me an his beef go way back. We were both on cast members on Nickelodeon show called "Ray-Ray's Garage."

Tracy: Who else is going to be at that party?
Jack: Well, you're going to be sharing the stage with NAS...
Tracy: Nope, he hates me! We used to date the same girl.
Jack: What about Young Jeezy?
Tracy: Forget about it. I called his pit bull gay on 106th and Park.
Liz: That would do it.

Displaying quotes 97 - 108 of 174 in total

30 Rock Season 1 Quotes

Jack: Are you familiar with the GE tri-vection oven?
Liz: I don't cook very much.
Jack: Sure... I gotcha. New York, third-wave feminist, college-educated, single and pretending to be happy about it, over-scheduled, undersexed, you buy any magazine that says "healthy body image" on the cover, and every two years you take up knitting for ... a week.
Pete: That is dead on!
Liz: What, are you going to guess my weight now?
Jack: You don't want me to do that.

[to Liz] I like you. You have the boldness of a much younger woman.

Jack