I can't support that. Dam is a swear word. I'd support it if instead of dam we called it a 'god finger'.


[water pours from ceiling]
Jack: The ceiling appears to be leaking.
Cooter: No, it's not. We looked into it and it's not.

Liz: I wolfed my Teamster sub for you!
Floyd: Wait, no, is that a saying?

I even stopped to catch a snowflake with my tongue, but apparently that's some signal in Chelsea.


Hey, nerds! Who's got two thumbs, speaks limited French, and hasn't cried once today? [pointing thumbs at self] This moi.


More business juice, please.


If reality TV has taught us anything, it's that you can't keep people with no shame down.


I can't talk now, I have to get my wallet out of the toaster.


Jack: Deborah is testing off the charts in the most profitable demographics: Soccer moms, NASCAR dads, white collar pervs and the obese.

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