30 Rock

30 Rock Season 2 Quotes

Episode 15: "Cooter"

Congressman: I can't support that. Dam is a swear word. I'd support it if instead of dam we called it a 'god finger'.
 • Rating: Unrated

[water pours from ceiling]
Jack: The ceiling appears to be leaking.
Cooter: No, it's not. We looked into it and it's not.
 • Rating: Unrated

Episode 14: "Sandwich Day"

Liz: I wolfed my Teamster sub for you!
Floyd: Wait, no, is that a saying?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jack: I even stopped to catch a snowflake with my tongue, but apparently that's some signal in Chelsea.
 • Rating: Unrated

Episode 13: "Succession"

Liz: Hey, nerds! Who's got two thumbs, speaks limited French, and hasn't cried once today? [pointing thumbs at self] This moi.
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Liz: More business juice, please.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Episode 12: "Subway Hero"

Liz: If reality TV has taught us anything, it's that you can't keep people with no shame down.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Tracy: I can't talk now, I have to get my wallet out of the toaster.
 • Rating: Unrated

Episode 11: "MILF Island"

Jack: Deborah is testing off the charts in the most profitable demographics: Soccer moms, NASCAR dads, white collar pervs and the obese.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Jack: The stutter got so bad I was taken out of my grade and put in the special class, held in the boiler room. My only other classmate was named Gilly. He'd fallen though the ice as a child and was technically dead for 57 minutes. They taught us to sweep sawdust so we could find work at a mill. Of course I overcame the stutter in three languages. On to Princeton, Harvard, the top of the business world. I thought I blocked this out, but a thing like this brings back emotions.
Liz: I'm so sorry.
Jack: I feel like I'm back in that boiler room; making little piles of sawdust while Gilly plays with himself in the corner...
 • Rating: Unrated

Episode 10: "Untitled"

Kenneth: [on coffee] I love how it makes me feel. It's like my heart is trying to hug my brain!
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Kenneth: I don't drink hot liquids of any kind. That's the Devil's temperature!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Episode 9: "Ludachristmas"

Liz: C'mon, you can talk to Mitch about President Reagan.
Jack: Oh, in his mind Reagan is still president. [to Mitch] You lucky bastard!
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Tracy: [regarding his ankle bracelet alcohol monitor] Maybe I'll just compromise - go to the party, cut off my foot and drink all I want!
 • Rating: Unrated

Episode 8: "Secrets and Lies"

[Republicans begin confessing their secrets.]
Man #1: I gave to NPR last year.
Woman: My children go to public school.
Man #2: I'm gay.
Man #3: I'm black.
C.C.: Jack, thank you so much. And I just wanted you to know that in 1984 I voted for Ronald Reagan.
Man #4: I murdered my wife.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jack: She is my lover. That's right. She's my liberal, hippy-dippy mama; my groovy chick; my old lady. She was our chief adversary during the Sheinhardt Wig hearings. She wants to tax us all to death and make it legal for a man to marry his own dog. But I think what we have is special, and I'm proud of her. And I'm not going to hide it any longer. I'm Jack Donaghy, damn it! And this is my woman.
 • Rating: Unrated

Tracy: I do not want to disappoint our Japanese public, especially Godzilla. Hahaha! I'm just kidding, I know he doesn't care what humans do.
 • Rating: Unrated

Episode 7: "Cougars"

Jack: Lemon, what happened? Did you take an Ambien with your Franzia and sleep walk here?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Liz: I'm 37, please don't make me go to Brooklyn.
Jaime: I'm 20.
Liz: Oh boy. This just went from a senior dating a freshman to Mary Kay Letourneau and Vili Fualaau.
Jaime: Are those friends of yours?
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Episode 6: "Somebody to Love"

C.C.: Nobody can know we're together. Not even your friend Tracy Jordan out there.
Jack: I don't think you have to worry about Tracy.
Tracy: Stop eating people's old French fries, pigeon! Have some self respect! Don't you know you can fly?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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