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I can't support that. Dam is a swear word. I'd support it if instead of dam we called it a 'god finger'.

Congressman

[water pours from ceiling]
Jack: The ceiling appears to be leaking.
Cooter: No, it's not. We looked into it and it's not.

Liz: I wolfed my Teamster sub for you!
Floyd: Wait, no, is that a saying?

I even stopped to catch a snowflake with my tongue, but apparently that's some signal in Chelsea.

Jack

Hey, nerds! Who's got two thumbs, speaks limited French, and hasn't cried once today? [pointing thumbs at self] This moi.

Liz

More business juice, please.

Liz

If reality TV has taught us anything, it's that you can't keep people with no shame down.

Liz

I can't talk now, I have to get my wallet out of the toaster.

Tracy

Jack: Deborah is testing off the charts in the most profitable demographics: Soccer moms, NASCAR dads, white collar pervs and the obese.

Jack: The stutter got so bad I was taken out of my grade and put in the special class, held in the boiler room. My only other classmate was named Gilly. He'd fallen though the ice as a child and was technically dead for 57 minutes. They taught us to sweep sawdust so we could find work at a mill. Of course I overcame the stutter in three languages. On to Princeton, Harvard, the top of the business world. I thought I blocked this out, but a thing like this brings back emotions.
Liz: I'm so sorry.
Jack: I feel like I'm back in that boiler room; making little piles of sawdust while Gilly plays with himself in the corner...

[on coffee] I love how it makes me feel. It's like my heart is trying to hug my brain!

Kenneth

I don't drink hot liquids of any kind. That's the Devil's temperature!

Kenneth
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 48 in total

30 Rock Season 2 Quotes

Lemon, women your age are more likely to get mauled at the zoo than get married.

Jack

Jack: All of my summer replacement shows were big hits - America's Next Top Pirate, Are You Stronger Than A Dog, MILF Island.
Liz: MILF Island?
Jack: 25 super hot moms, 50 eighth grade boys, no rules.
Liz: Oh yeah, didn't one of those women turn out to be a prostitute?
Jack: That doesn't mean she's not a wonderful, caring MILF.