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Liz: C'mon, you can talk to Mitch about President Reagan.
Jack: Oh, in his mind Reagan is still president. [to Mitch] You lucky bastard!

[regarding his ankle bracelet alcohol monitor] Maybe I'll just compromise - go to the party, cut off my foot and drink all I want!

Tracy

[Republicans begin confessing their secrets.]
Man #1: I gave to NPR last year.
Woman: My children go to public school.
Man #2: I'm gay.
Man #3: I'm black.
C.C.: Jack, thank you so much. And I just wanted you to know that in 1984 I voted for Ronald Reagan.
Man #4: I murdered my wife.

She is my lover. That's right. She's my liberal, hippy-dippy mama; my groovy chick; my old lady. She was our chief adversary during the Sheinhardt Wig hearings. She wants to tax us all to death and make it legal for a man to marry his own dog. But I think what we have is special, and I'm proud of her. And I'm not going to hide it any longer. I'm Jack Donaghy, damn it! And this is my woman.

Jack

I do not want to disappoint our Japanese public, especially Godzilla. Hahaha! I'm just kidding, I know he doesn't care what humans do.

Tracy

Lemon, what happened? Did you take an Ambien with your Franzia and sleep walk here?

Jack

Liz: I'm 37, please don't make me go to Brooklyn.
Jaime: I'm 20.
Liz: Oh boy. This just went from a senior dating a freshman to Mary Kay Letourneau and Vili Fualaau.
Jaime: Are those friends of yours?

C.C.: Nobody can know we're together. Not even your friend Tracy Jordan out there.
Jack: I don't think you have to worry about Tracy.
Tracy: Stop eating people's old French fries, pigeon! Have some self respect! Don't you know you can fly?

C.C.: I've been going crazy the last few days thinking about our night together. How you wanted to brush my hair as foreplay. How you made me that Western omelet at 4 a.m. I've never met anyone like you, Jack.
Jack: Be with me, C.C. We'll ignore our differences 'til the sex goes bad then... we'll walk away bitter and angry.

C.C.: I'm working out of the Clinton offices for a few weeks. I'm helping Hillary retool her Universal Health care platform.
Jack: God, I want to kiss you on the mouth to stop you from saying such ridiculous things.

Look how Greenzo's testing! They love him in every demographic - colored people, broads, fairies, commies. Gosh we gotta update these forms.

Jack

You know what, you people make me sick! You act like you care but you do nothing. Do you even bother to compost your own feces?

Greenzo
Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 48 in total

30 Rock Season 2 Quotes

Hey, nerds! Who's got two thumbs, speaks limited French, and hasn't cried once today? [pointing thumbs at self] This moi.

Liz

Lemon, women your age are more likely to get mauled at the zoo than get married.

Jack