[on plan to get off jury duty] "I've got my Princess Leia outfit and my copies of Playgirl magazines from the early '80s."


[as Princess Leia] I really don't think it's fair for me to be on a jury since I'm a hologram.


Shut up, Lutz!


If you have enough money you can do whatever you want! Now I can appear on Martha Stewart Live. Oh, and it's going to be raunchy!


[to Jenna] Wake up motherf****r!"


[to Jack] It has a ham button! You used my idea!


Are you pickling squirrel meat? Cause I can lend you my skullpresser.


Jack: (re: his years spent developing the pocket microwave): Most of that time has been spent trying to come up with a hip, edgy name that would appeal to the marketing holy trinity: college students, the morbidly obese, and homosexuals.

With no TGS I see you... self-publishing your novel and moving back in with your parents.


You know what I like to do for eight hours? The TV Guide crossword.

Dr. Leo Spaceman

Passing out and cursing on St. Patrick's Day. Is nothing sacred anymore?


Jack: I guess we both lost children today.
Liz: Yeah, but mine was real. Yours was ... Frank.

30 Rock Season 3 Quotes

My Mary J. Blige Foundation is celebrating its 10th year of searching for the Loch Ness Monster.

Mary J. Blige

If there's one thing I learned from you, Jack, it's to keep your friends close and your enemies so close that you're almost kissing.