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I had this thing where I kept running into Michael Douglas, then I realized it was just some old lady who lives in my building.

Jenna

Boston is the greatest city in the world. Boston Tea Party, Boston Cream Pie, Boston Rob Mariano.

Jack

I don't know why you're wearing girls' pajamas, but I'm sure it's cultural.

Jack

I'll see you in May! For sweeps! That what's we call spring cleaning in England!

Wesley

What if women had a pay-per-view channel featuring handsome men patiently listening to them? What if they had porn for women?

Jack

verybody settles. At one point my obituary was going to read "CEO Of GE Dies Violently In Casino Orgy." Now what's it going to say, "Middle Manager Of A Philadelphia Porn Distributor Never Wakes Up?"

Jack

Jack [reading Kabletown]: Assatar? The Lovely Boners? The Hind Side? Fresh-Ass: Based on the Novel "Tush" by Assfire?

It's like a black Barbie doll in Arizona! Nobody's buying it!

Tracy

I'm British and charming, and she's got... angles... that work for her.

Wesley

My addiction to prescription glasses! The fact that I suffer from attention deficit disor- Jack, your shoes are shiny!

Tracy

He built GE into the greatest company on Earth, and the Earth into one of the top three planets in the universe!

Jack

Not Seinfeld, Friends, ER exciting, more like 3-D episodes of Merlin exciting...

Jack
Displaying quotes 121 - 132 of 358 in total
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