30 Rock

30 Rock Season 5 Quotes (Page 15)

Season 5 Episode 2: "When It Rains, It Pours"

Tracy: If I were a real werewolf I'd wear baggy clothes so my nice clothes wouldn't get all torn up.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Liz: You comin' downstairs?
Jack: And stand outside in a crowd like some Italian? I don't think so.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Tracy: And good for you Liz Lemon. There's something about you lately... makes me want to put my feet in your mouth.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dot Com: Also we took Tracy's cell phone, his wallet...
Tracy: ... and my mood ring! And I don't know how I feel about that.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Tracy: Well, I'm embarrassed to say I've missed the birth of both of my sons... for very legitimate reasons.
Dot Com: Cooking a French bread pizza and forgot.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 5 Episode 1: "The Fabian Strategy"

Tracy: Why don't you come back home to TGS and pick the peas out of my fried rice... and the rice. I just want carrots.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jenna: The writers can't take a car service at night anymore. I've crunched the numbers and it's cheaper for us to just replace anyone who gets murdered.
 • Rating: Unrated

Liz: This is one of the three things I like: Ina Garten, sweater weather and...
Carol: When Muppets present at awards shows?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Toofer: Did you ever see a UFO up there?
Carol: No but once when I was in the Air Force I saw Mr. T in a Pizza Hut.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Liz: The next time you hallucinate just tell yourself "this is not real. I am in control of this."
Tracy: Like the World Cup.
 • Rating: Unrated

Tracy: Kenneth! I knew you'd come back. Let me smell your head.
 • Rating: Unrated

Liz: The bathrooms are so much cleaner than at home... I don't know how they do it.
Jack: They clean them.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Tracy: ... then I need you to be back by noon to make the bathroom smell like sandalwood before I wreck it.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jack: Lemon why do you keep spending so much money on Wigs?
Liz: Tracy's head size keeps changing.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jack: The Harry Potter theme park is a huge hit with both anglophiles and pedophiles.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Liz: Who flies Newark to Atlantic City?
Carol: Black bachelorette parties.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Carol: I'm in Lambert-St. Louis and I can see the Arch from here. No wait, that's a half burned down McDonald's.
 • Rating: 1.0 / 5.0

Liz: You sound weird... do you have a beard?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jack: My naturally blonde lady love and I basked in the three S's: surf, sun and ...
Liz: Sandwiches?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Liz (wakes up): No Tom Jones, no!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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