Listen to me. I sound like Cagney and Lacey but without the slutty clothes.

Liz

Dot Com: You think we don't want him back? Do you know how much our cobra payments are? And he's the only one who knows the combination to the candy safe.
Grizz: The worst part is being able to see the candy.

I was trapped in a world of wet wipes and rectal thermometers. Then the babies came and life changed.

Devon

Kenneth: How was substitute teaching sir?
Pete: Just like Lean On Me, in that a guy who looks like Morgan Freeman swung a bat at me.

This isn't even baby vomit on my jacket. It's mine. All mine.

Devon

Jack, we've been waiting almost an hour for this Banks fella. The only explanation I can think of is that he keeps stopping to perform good deeds.

Hank

These aren't babies, they're organ farms.

Devon

Aaron Sorkin: We make horse buggies; the first Model T just rolled into town.
Liz: We're dinosaurs.
Aaron Sorkin: We don't need two metaphors. That's bad writing, not that it matters.

Aaron Sorkin: I'm Aaron Sorkin. The West Wing, A Few Good Men, The Social Network...
Liz: Studio 60.
Aaron Sorkin: Shut up.

I tracked him down to an address in Brooklyn. He's on LinkedIn, Lemon. He might as well be dead.

Jack

He's a gay shark, like the actor who played Jaws.

Jack

There is a gay Jack Donaghy. His name is Devon Banks.

Jack
Displaying quotes 61 - 72 of 300 in total

30 Rock Season 5 Quotes

Ambition is the willingness to kill the things you love and eat them in order to stay alive. Haven't you ever read my throw pillow?

Jack

Jack: My naturally blonde lady love and I basked in the three S's: surf, sun and ...
Liz: Sandwiches?

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