Hill: What does S.H.I.E.L.D. stand for Agent Ward?
Ward: Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division.
Hill: And what does that mean to you?
Ward: That someone really wanted our initials to spell SHIELD.

I'm doing what we always do. We're going to fix this. Together.

Fitz

Skye: Sweet ride.
Coulson: I earned a little good will from Direct Fury when I got hit right before the battle of New York.
Skye: You took a bullet?
Coulson: "ish".

The name they gave me at the orphanage was Mary Sue Poots

Skye

Ward: I know Director Fury felt he owes you after you scarified yourself.
Coulson: And my card collection.

Simmons is probably smarter, technically. But that’s because she like homework more than life itself.

Fitz

Don't do anything rash while I'm gone, like jump out of an airplane.

Fitz

Coulson: Go ahead, say it.
May: I don't do petty.
Coulson: But you called it. I trusted my gut even though you said she was a risk.
May: When someone breaks into my house, I usually don't invite them to stay. But that's me.
Coulson: That's me too. Then that alien staff when through my heart.
May: Sure it didn't go through the brain?
Coulson: You really don't do comforting either do you?

If I come out, will you shoot me? 'Cause then I won't come out.

Coulson

We still need to iron out the kinks, but Ward you can speak 6 languages, Simmons you have 2 PHD's in fields I cannot pronounce, and Fitz you ARE a rocket scientist, so work it out.

Coulson

Couslon: Not a grenade exactly. It might be some type of cloaking mechanism.
Ward: Maybe it created some kind of portal.
Coulson: Let’s hope not. I can’t deal with Asgard today.

Coulson: Have you seen Skye?
Ward: Not since weapons training.
Coulson: She stop saying bang when she pulls the trigger?
Ward: Mostly. Now if she can just learn the difference between the safety release and the magazine release, we will be making real progress.

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Quotes

Fitz: Things are about to get complicated.
Simmons: You mean once we have sex?

You know keeping her in the dark won't end well.

May