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Agents-of-shield

Hill: Then New York was invaded by aliens, and they were beaten back by among others, a giant green monster, a costumed hero from the 40s, and a god.
Ward: I don't think Thor is technically a god
Hill: You haven't been near his arms.

Hill: For that you will have to ask Agent Coulson.
Ward: I'm clearance level 6, I know that Coulson died before the battle of New York,
Coulson: [steps out of shadow] Welcome to level 7. Sorry, that corner was really dark, I couldn't help myself. I think there's a bulb out.

Ward: So Director Fury faked your death to motivate the Avengers?
Hill: The death of a comrade is a particularly effective motivator.
Coulson: It wasn't that big of stretch, I stopped breathing for 40 seconds
Hill: That time gets longer each time you tell it.
Coulson: You get shanked by the Asgardian Mussolini and you can tell it your way.

Agent Hill did a very detailed assessment of your last three missions. Combat, top grades; Espionage, highest marks since Agent Romenoff. Under people skills, she drew what I think is a little poop, with knives sticking out of it.

Coulson

Hill: It was a porcupine, not a poop.
Coulson: No, I'm pretty sure [looks at book]

Doc: Tahiti. He really doesn't know does he?
Hill: He can never know.

You can't walk away from this. With great power comes.... a ton of weird crap you are not prepared to deal with.

Skye

Coulson: Agent May.
May: No.
Coulson: So you've been briefed.
May: I'm not going back into the field.
Coulson: Yeah, because you such a nice setup here. [looks at piles of papers] Ever thought about adding a moat?

Hill: What does S.H.I.E.L.D. stand for Agent Ward?
Ward: Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division.
Hill: And what does that mean to you?
Ward: That someone really wanted our initials to spell SHIELD.

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