LMD Radcliffe: If you don't think I'm alive, then why'd you feel the need to switch me on before killing me?
Mack: I like to hear robots scream.

The laundry was disgusting. Enough DNA to make a clone army.

L.T. [on growing up with the Koenigs]

Eric died so good people could live and do good things. What good have you done for the world?

L.T. [to Koenig]

Captain: This book better be worth it.
Radcliffe: If you want to get rid of the Inhumans, the answer will be in it.
Captain: And what's in it for you?
Radcliffe: A better world.
Captain: Then we want the same thing.

We've been making a lot of toasts lately. Maybe we should try something else.

LMD May [to Coulson]

You're asleep, binge-watching the apocalypse!

Koenig

The only thing worse than a robot is a possessed one.

Mack

Kidnapping a Koenig? That's like catching moonlight.

Coulson

Agent Coulson, This is Agent Koenig. They've got Agent Koenig. I repeat, they've got Agent Koenig.

Koenig

Simmons [to LMD Radcliffe]: We'll shoot whenever we damn please.
Mack: And this time, no one's going to put you together again.

Koenig: You're all Gollum-y again.
Radcliffe: That' what the Darkhold does. It drives you mad!

LMD May: Today wasn't great.
Coulson: Cauliflower isn't great. Today was a kick in the balls.

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Quotes

Kasius: Yo-Yo Rodriguez? How peculiar.
Yo-Yo: Says the space mime!

Sousa: Hey, what are you doing up?
Daisy: Why do you care?
Sousa: Because you don't.