[to Elsa] Thought you'd be hot as a Limehouse whore by now.

Ethel

Dell: This is the perfect time for me to tell you something that my father told me.
Jimmy: What?
Dell: It's the Toledo code. The first minute you let a woman tell you what to do is the first minute you hand your balls to 'em.
Jimmy: I wanna keep my balls.
Dell: You hold on to them son.

Who's the strong man now?

Amazon Eve

Rule #1 When attempting to blackmail a man with freakish strength and a mean streak the size of the panhandle make sure you got witnesses.

Stanley

Dandy: Bette I know you love me. Tell them you want to stay and live forever in luxury.
Dot: There's something wrong with Dandy and you know it.
Bette: I'm sorry but I choose my sister always. We have to go.

[to Gloria] Those girls were a cool stream of glacier water. My heart bloomed as they nourished it. And now it's all gone. There's nothing left but the dust and the scorpions inside of me. I was never destined to feel love.

Dandy

There comes a time in every mother's life when she must give up her son to another woman.

Dandy

Fate. Destiny. Luck. The prisons of man. People pass the time, enjoying the choices life provides--coffee or tea, right or left--as if it matters. We are all just spinning on the wheel. There is but one way to keep off the wheel. It's not youth. It's not beauty or true love. I know how to stay off the wheel. I control my fate. I have survived because I know one must be willing to destroy anyone, anything, even the ones you love, to keep the gods in check.

Elsa

Most people can't take the pain. But not me. Pain don't define me. But I still feel it.

Dell

Sometimes life is just a bleak pool of despair and there ain't nothing you can do about it.

Desiree

[to Maggie] I was an idiot to think I had a chance with a girl like you.

Jimmy

I would rather be boiled in oil than be on television.

Elsa

American Horror Story Quotes

There are three reasons I deal with women; sex, money or makin' me sandwiches. And unless you're planning on going into my kitchen and slapping some ham between two slices of bread, this conversation is over.

Joe

Paul: What do we do now?
Desiree: Steal her jewelry. And bury the bitch.