Archer
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on FXFavorite Archer Quotes
You can't have a flasback with a flashforward in it. That's just bad writing.
Cyril
Archer: Oh my God! You killed a hooker!
Cyril: Call girl! She was a-
Archer: No Cyril, when they're dead they're just hookers!
Archer: Lana, did you see my scarf?
Lana: Yes, Archer. I saw your scarf.
Archer: All my hair fell out.
Lana: I'm sorry.
Archer: Me too. It was my fifth best feature.
That so hard? Count Snackula.
Malory: So make her 40.
Cyril: And who's going to play her?
Malory: Me! That's the whole point.
Cyril: You do realize there's a finite amount of Vaseline in the world?
Now shut up and kick in the door for me. And do it bad ass like I would. If I still had toe nails.
Oh my god, if I possessed the capacity to be embarrassed.
Rona
Did you see that? That was like like Steve McQueen and John Woo had a baby and that baby was you, baby.
Archer: Can you put it in a person's brain?
Krieger: It'd suffocate.
Archer: Not the rabbit, you idiot - the chip.
Krieger: Oh yes, absolutely.
Archer: Without killing the person?
Krieger: Oh... maybe?
Archer: Your stance. You're fighting yourself.
Rona: Excuse me?
Archer: You're all rigid and stiff. Which I'm all for. Rim shot.
Woodhouse: 1,200 pounds
Archer: No one is getting killed over however much that is in real money.
Plus I can only assume a Brazilian mafia would be about a gazillion times hotter.
