Archer
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on FXFavorite Archer Quotes
Archer: Can you put it in a person's brain?
Krieger: It'd suffocate.
Archer: Not the rabbit, you idiot - the chip.
Krieger: Oh yes, absolutely.
Archer: Without killing the person?
Krieger: Oh... maybe?
Malory: Well, what about the ground breaking work that Dr. Krieger is doing for ISIS in our Applied Research Division?
Pam: Yeah, tell him about the sex robot.
Malory: Yes, the.. what?
Krieger: I call him Fister Roboto.
No no no no, like a big sweaty fireman carries you out of a burning building, lays you on the sidewalk and you think, yeah, ok he's going to give me mouth to mouth. Instead, he just starts choking the shit out of you, and the last sensation you feel before you die, is that he's squeezing your throat so hard that a big wet blob of drool drips off his teeth and just, plurp, falls right onto your popped out eye ball.
Cheryl
Lana: What's your third biggest fear?
Archer: Brain aneurysm.
Lana: What's a brain aneurysm have to do with walking around in a swamp?
Archer: Nothing, it can happen anywhere at anytime, that's what makes it so terrifying.
Archer: You're just doing this to spite me!
Lana: And?
Cheryl: Do anything fun this weekend? Because I sure did. Friday night was cornhole league and then on Saturday...
Malory: If I cared what you do on the weekend I'd stick a shotgun in my mouth and pull the trigger with my toes.
Cheryl: Saturday I watched a building burn down.
Ouch, my earballs.
Cheryl
Rona: Where's my journal?
Pam: I maybe kind of sort of took it?
Gillette: Why would you do that?
Cheryl: Did you think it was meat?
Lana: Oh My... You're getting off on this!
Archer: And?
What! Whaaaat!
Virus
Cheryl: So, Krieger's a doctor.
Cyril: Not the medical kind!
Krieger: Not even the other kind... technically.
Malory: Sterling! Len! Either and or both? Where the hell are you? Len?
Barry: Do you know where he is?
Malory: Yes, I'm just screaming his name down the hall to celebrate that fact.
