Hawley: Awww screw me!
Archer: ...said Ripley to the android Bishop.

Cheryl: What the stupid shit are you doing??
Cyril: You said you wanted watermelon.
Cheryl: Watermelon's red?
Cyril: Yes. How do you not know that?
Cheryl: Who am I? Charles Frederick Andress?

Bloody mary, blessed are you among cocktails. Pray for me now in the hour of my death, which I hope is soon. Amen.

Cyril: Archer, do something!
Archer: Who am I, Alan Turing? He was also in X-Men, remember?

Cyril: Why are you so scared of crocodiles?
Archer: Gee, I don't know, Cyril. Maybe deep down I'm afraid of any apex predator that lived through the K-T extinction. Physically unchanged for a hundred million years, because it's the perfect killing machine. A half ton of cold-blooded fury, the bite force of 20,000 Newtons, and stomach acid so strong it can dissolve bones and hoofs.

(Learning him and Lana have to share a one bed room)
Archer: Lana, lana, lana, lana (Shouts) LANNNNNAAAAAAA!!
Lana: WHAT!!!?
Archer: (snickers) Danger Zone....

Cyril: Why do we always have to share a room?
Ray: The sinister gay cabal, Cyril. You have fallen victim to the sinister gay cabal.

Sterling: A ruse? Hi, it's 1930s, can have our words, and clothes, and shitty plane back?
Rip: Let's go, kid.
Sterling: Call you back, 1930s. And, hey, watch out for that Adolf Hitler. He's a bad egg.

Lloyd Llewellyn: We tried to blow up a dam.
Lana: A dam?! What, to flood another bunch of people out of their homes?
Lloyd Llewellyn: Not real people, just English ones!

Archer: Oh my God!
Lana: What?
Archer: Michael Gray - was Billy Batson on Shazam!

Cherlene: Who the hell drilled my box?
Archer: So we're just done with phrasing, right, that's not a thing anymore?

Apache! Helicopter! We should sell those, cause I'm rapper

Archer Quotes

Hawley: Awww screw me!
Archer: ...said Ripley to the android Bishop.

Cheryl: What the stupid shit are you doing??
Cyril: You said you wanted watermelon.
Cheryl: Watermelon's red?
Cyril: Yes. How do you not know that?
Cheryl: Who am I? Charles Frederick Andress?