Popular Archer Quotes
Cyril: Why are you so scared of crocodiles?
Archer: Gee, I don't know, Cyril. Maybe deep down I'm afraid of any apex predator that lived through the K-T extinction. Physically unchanged for a hundred million years, because it's the perfect killing machine. A half ton of cold-blooded fury, the bite force of 20,000 Newtons, and stomach acid so strong it can dissolve bones and hoofs.
Cheryl: What the stupid shit are you doing??
Cyril: You said you wanted watermelon.
Cheryl: Watermelon's red?
Cyril: Yes. How do you not know that?
Cheryl: Who am I? Charles Frederick Andress?
Cyril: Archer, do something!
Archer: Who am I, Alan Turing? He was also in X-Men, remember?
(Learning him and Lana have to share a one bed room)
Archer: Lana, lana, lana, lana (Shouts) LANNNNNAAAAAAA!!
Archer: (snickers) Danger Zone....
Bloody mary, blessed are you among cocktails. Pray for me now in the hour of my death, which I hope is soon. Amen.
Lana: What's your third biggest fear?
Archer: Brain aneurysm.
Lana: What's a brain aneurysm have to do with walking around in a swamp?
Archer: Nothing, it can happen anywhere at anytime, that's what makes it so terrifying.
If I stop drinking all at once, I'm afraid the cumulative hangover will kill me.
Archer: Oh my God! You killed a hooker!
Cyril: Call girl! She was a-
Archer: No Cyril, when they're dead they're just hookers!
Sterling: A ruse? Hi, it's 1930s, can have our words, and clothes, and shitty plane back?
Rip: Let's go, kid.
Sterling: Call you back, 1930s. And, hey, watch out for that Adolf Hitler. He's a bad egg.
Because I told you to buy lemon curd, Woodhouse. Now what am I going to spread on my toast? Your tears?
La Madrina: So, 900 kilos?
Archer: However many are in a shit-tonne.
Ouch, my earballs.Cheryl