Mondays 10:00 PM on FX
Archer

Bloody mary, blessed are you among cocktails. Pray for me now in the hour of my death, which I hope is soon. Amen.

Hawley: Awww screw me!
Archer: ...said Ripley to the android Bishop.

Obviously it's not heaven because Janis Joplin isn't giving me a rim job.

You can lie, but your boner can't.

Cyril: Archer, do something!
Archer: Who am I, Alan Turing? He was also in X-Men, remember?

(Learning him and Lana have to share a one bed room)
Archer: Lana, lana, lana, lana (Shouts) LANNNNNAAAAAAA!!
Lana: WHAT!!!?
Archer: (snickers) Danger Zone....

Archer: Do you not see me rocking this chiseled slab of hard man body? I mean come on. Are you gay or not?
Ramon: I am, but you... you are so not my type.
Archer: Hey! I am everybody's type!

Sterling: A ruse? Hi, it's 1930s, can have our words, and clothes, and shitty plane back?
Rip: Let's go, kid.
Sterling: Call you back, 1930s. And, hey, watch out for that Adolf Hitler. He's a bad egg.

If I stop drinking all at once, I'm afraid the cumulative hangover will kill me.

This time really get in there. All you've been doing is giving one side hell.

Pam

Lana: You're looking for Predator aren't you? A, he's invisible.
Archer: Not totally, he has a tall tell shimmer.

I'm Randy Magnum, local Emmy-winning cameraman and nationally ranked pro kite surfer.

Sterling
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 541 in total

Archer Quotes

Bloody mary, blessed are you among cocktails. Pray for me now in the hour of my death, which I hope is soon. Amen.

Archer

Hawley: Awww screw me!
Archer: ...said Ripley to the android Bishop.

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