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Archer

Hawley: Awww screw me!
Archer: ...said Ripley to the android Bishop.

Bloody mary, blessed are you among cocktails. Pray for me now in the hour of my death, which I hope is soon. Amen.

Cyril: Archer, do something!
Archer: Who am I, Alan Turing? He was also in X-Men, remember?

(Learning him and Lana have to share a one bed room)
Archer: Lana, lana, lana, lana (Shouts) LANNNNNAAAAAAA!!
Lana: WHAT!!!?
Archer: (snickers) Danger Zone....

Sterling: A ruse? Hi, it's 1930s, can have our words, and clothes, and shitty plane back?
Rip: Let's go, kid.
Sterling: Call you back, 1930s. And, hey, watch out for that Adolf Hitler. He's a bad egg.

I swear to god you could drown a toddler in my panties right now.

Pam

Cyril: Why are you so scared of crocodiles?
Archer: Gee, I don't know, Cyril. Maybe deep down I'm afraid of any apex predator that lived through the K-T extinction. Physically unchanged for a hundred million years, because it's the perfect killing machine. A half ton of cold-blooded fury, the bite force of 20,000 Newtons, and stomach acid so strong it can dissolve bones and hoofs.

Lana: What's your third biggest fear?
Archer: Brain aneurysm.
Lana: What's a brain aneurysm have to do with walking around in a swamp?
Archer: Nothing, it can happen anywhere at anytime, that's what makes it so terrifying.

Benoit: Now if you excuse me, I must go find fresh towels and a whore.
Archer: Hey, Benoit, not to thick on either.

Archer: Cry "Havoc!" and let slip the hogs of war.
Krieger: Dogs of wars.
Archer: Whatever farm animal of war, Lana. Shut up.

Sterling Archer, I'd like you to meet your daughter, Abigene.

Lana

Cyril's just the Vader to your Palpatine.

Lana
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 541 in total

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Archer Quotes

Hawley: Awww screw me!
Archer: ...said Ripley to the android Bishop.

Bloody mary, blessed are you among cocktails. Pray for me now in the hour of my death, which I hope is soon. Amen.

Archer
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