Archer

Mondays 10:00 PM on FX
Archer

Bloody mary, blessed are you among cocktails. Pray for me now in the hour of my death, which I hope is soon. Amen.

Hawley: Awww screw me!
Archer: ...said Ripley to the android Bishop.

Cyril: Archer, do something!
Archer: Who am I, Alan Turing? He was also in X-Men, remember?

(Learning him and Lana have to share a one bed room)
Archer: Lana, lana, lana, lana (Shouts) LANNNNNAAAAAAA!!
Lana: WHAT!!!?
Archer: (snickers) Danger Zone....

Sterling: A ruse? Hi, it's 1930s, can have our words, and clothes, and shitty plane back?
Rip: Let's go, kid.
Sterling: Call you back, 1930s. And, hey, watch out for that Adolf Hitler. He's a bad egg.

I swear to god you could drown a toddler in my panties right now.

Pam

If I stop drinking all at once, I'm afraid the cumulative hangover will kill me.

Cherlene: Who the hell drilled my box?
Archer: So we're just done with phrasing, right, that's not a thing anymore?

God, how I envy the deaf.

Malory

Lana: Right about here is the part where I hold you responsible.
Archer: Oh my God, the burden.

Malory: Ron, take me to lunch,
Ron: It's 8:30 in the morning!
Malory: A bar then, whatever!

Malory: Guess how many pygmies died cutting it down? Hint: six.

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Archer Quotes

Bloody mary, blessed are you among cocktails. Pray for me now in the hour of my death, which I hope is soon. Amen.

Archer

Hawley: Awww screw me!
Archer: ...said Ripley to the android Bishop.

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