Mondays 10:00 PM on FX
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Archer

Bloody mary, blessed are you among cocktails. Pray for me now in the hour of my death, which I hope is soon. Amen.

Hawley: Awww screw me!
Archer: ...said Ripley to the android Bishop.

Cyril: Archer, do something!
Archer: Who am I, Alan Turing? He was also in X-Men, remember?

Sterling: A ruse? Hi, it's 1930s, can have our words, and clothes, and shitty plane back?
Rip: Let's go, kid.
Sterling: Call you back, 1930s. And, hey, watch out for that Adolf Hitler. He's a bad egg.

(Learning him and Lana have to share a one bed room)
Archer: Lana, lana, lana, lana (Shouts) LANNNNNAAAAAAA!!
Lana: WHAT!!!?
Archer: (snickers) Danger Zone....

Lana: What's your third biggest fear?
Archer: Brain aneurysm.
Lana: What's a brain aneurysm have to do with walking around in a swamp?
Archer: Nothing, it can happen anywhere at anytime, that's what makes it so terrifying.

I swear to god you could drown a toddler in my panties right now.

Pam

I'm Randy Magnum, local Emmy-winning cameraman and nationally ranked pro kite surfer.

Sterling

Cherlene: Who the hell drilled my box?
Archer: So we're just done with phrasing, right, that's not a thing anymore?

Sterling Archer, I'd like you to meet your daughter, Abigene.

Lana

Lana, this isn't entirely about race.

Who am I. Lewis and/or Clark?

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 541 in total

Archer Quotes

Hawley: Awww screw me!
Archer: ...said Ripley to the android Bishop.

Bloody mary, blessed are you among cocktails. Pray for me now in the hour of my death, which I hope is soon. Amen.

Archer
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