Mondays 10:00 PM on FX
Archer

Hawley: Awww screw me!
Archer: ...said Ripley to the android Bishop.

Bloody mary, blessed are you among cocktails. Pray for me now in the hour of my death, which I hope is soon. Amen.

Cyril: Archer, do something!
Archer: Who am I, Alan Turing? He was also in X-Men, remember?

If I stop drinking all at once, I'm afraid the cumulative hangover will kill me.

(Learning him and Lana have to share a one bed room)
Archer: Lana, lana, lana, lana (Shouts) LANNNNNAAAAAAA!!
Lana: WHAT!!!?
Archer: (snickers) Danger Zone....

Lana: You're looking for Predator aren't you? A, he's invisible.
Archer: Not totally, he has a tall tell shimmer.

I swear to god you could drown a toddler in my panties right now.

Pam

Cherlene: Who the hell drilled my box?
Archer: So we're just done with phrasing, right, that's not a thing anymore?

Cyril: Why are you so scared of crocodiles?
Archer: Gee, I don't know, Cyril. Maybe deep down I'm afraid of any apex predator that lived through the K-T extinction. Physically unchanged for a hundred million years, because it's the perfect killing machine. A half ton of cold-blooded fury, the bite force of 20,000 Newtons, and stomach acid so strong it can dissolve bones and hoofs.

Displaying quotes 1 - 9 of 541 in total