Archer
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on FXPopular Archer Quotes
Archer: Who the shit is that? (after hearing a knock on the door)
Barry: Is it Barry? Does that mean Barry possibly literally froze his nuts off in the wheel well of a 747 so he can murder the shit-eating Archer?.....Yes it does other Barry. Oh yes
You're kidding. How either in this universe or either of its infinite parallels could I possibly embarrass you?
Lana: I'm going upstate for seer school
Cheryl: So take her with you!
Lana: To SURVIVAL school
Cherl: Big whoop. Hang her in a bear bag
Well then, it's official. The sweater vest is officially good for nothing.
Lana: What is it, soup?
Ray: Define soup.
Lana: Would it be safe to assume that no one wants to drink what's in your thermos?
Krieger: Sweet Jesus God, I would hope so!
Lana: Remember when the office shut down and we spent an entire year as coke dealers?
Archer: What, so people just quit?
Pam: Psst, Cyril rub one out.
Cyril: I do NOT want to masturbate
Pam: Not even after that (referencing Ray and Lana wrestling)
Cheryl: I have an idea!
Archer: OK wait. Does it have anything to do with our current situation?
Cheryl: Yes!
Archer: OK, what is it?
Cheryl: We are stuck in an elevator?
Cyril: The idea! Not our current situation!
Archer: Come on cyborg. RD2 it.
Ray: R2D2 it?
Archer: Yeah, probe around in there and whatever, shut down the tractor beam.
Ray: With what, my dick?
Archer: I....however you normally do it
Ray: I don't normally do it!
Archer: I know but this is an emergency.
(to Archer) You want a drink, (to Lana) you want to lecture us, (to Pam) you want more bear claws, (to Ray), you want to smoke (to Cyril) you want to masturbate, and (to Krieger) you're scared that we'll figure you you're actually just a Krieger clone
Cheryl
Archer: Cyril, let's get that sweater vest off buddy
Cyril: I'm sorry?
Archer: I know! Nobody makes you wear them.
Lana, it's cashmere. There are rules. Sorry. I didn't know
