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Archer

Do I look like I need bald guy cream?. Mikey, I can barely get a comb through this. It's so thick my barber charges me double.

Archer

Hmm. Cock flavored spit? Well you never know what's gonna be on the board! Let me see cock-flavored spit!

Archer

Save it for the fast money round, Paddy.

Archer

Hostage: Do you have any have any idea who our boss is?
Archer: Nope, but 100 people surveyed. Number one answer's on the board. Name the douchebag who's in charge.
Hostage: Vincent van Gogh fuck yourself.
Archer: Hmm? Vincent van Gogh fuck myself? Survey says?

Plus I can only assume a Brazilian mafia would be about a gazillion times hotter.

Archer

Archer: Cry "Havoc!" and let slip the hogs of war.
Krieger: Dogs of wars.
Archer: Whatever farm animal of war, Lana. Shut up.

Archer: I've been treating my cancer with sugar pills!?
Krieger: You didn't think it was weird your chemo drugs were chewable?
Archer: Little kids get cancer.

Displaying quotes 13 - 19 of 19 in total

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Archer Season 2 Episode 9 Quotes

Archer: Cry "Havoc!" and let slip the hogs of war.
Krieger: Dogs of wars.
Archer: Whatever farm animal of war, Lana. Shut up.

Archer: I've been treating my cancer with sugar pills!?
Krieger: You didn't think it was weird your chemo drugs were chewable?
Archer: Little kids get cancer.

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