Archer: Judging from the decor, I'm guessing Spelvin has one of those kick ass Japanese soaking tubs.
Cyril: After all that you want to take a bath?
Archer: Do you not?

Cyril: I have one bullet left.
George Spelvin: He does?
Archer: Who am I? Count Bulletsula? Like Dracula. That was bad. Come back to me. I can do better.

Shoot him Cyril! But just him. I think the twins are warming up to me. Right? Am I getting some signals?

Archer

Archer: Dammit Cyril you said they were sexy.
Cyril: Ninjas are sexy.
George Spelvin: Right?
Cyril: Well I think so!

Archer: Take the suits to my tailor and the shoes to my shoemaker.
Cyril: You have a shoemaker?
Archer: Do you not?

Cyril: I happen to be a kick ass accountant!
George Spelvin: Did that sound a lot better in your head?
Cyril: Yes it did.

Pam: It could take hours for this to bypass the electronic lock.
Archer: Then I should definitely get my turtleneck.

Cyril: Archer, do something!
Archer: Who am I, Alan Turing? He was also in X-Men, remember?

Pam: How's the elevator supposed to work with a gillion pounds of computers on it?!
Cheryl: Who am I, Elisha Otis?

Cyril: Maybe I could kill that pesky old worm?
Pam: How you gonna do that? Disappoint it to death?

What is this thing, made of Wolverine's bones? Does no one here read X-Men?

Archer

Pam: The identity of every single ISIS field agent is on there!
Archer: So what?
Malory: Because most secret agents don't tell every harlot from here to Hanoi that they ARE secret agents.
Archer: Then why be one?

Archer Season 2 Episode 6 Quotes

Archer: Pam, wait up! Get me drunk enough and i might have sex with you
Pam: Really?
Archer: No. It's a catch-22. The amount of alcohol I would need would literally kill me. But I do want to see how many pool balls you can stick in your mouth.
Pam: My record's three.

What! Whaaaat!

Virus