Maybe I didn't go to some fancy-pancy Ivy League med school, and maybe I didn't go to some other med school, even the one down in Grenada which was my fall-back but whatever, that doesn't give you the right to bully me! I have had it!

Krieger

Cheryl: I'm gonna use the money to buy an orphanage and then bulldoze it.
Pam: Why?!
Cheryl: Shits and grins. And screams. "Wah, porridge, wah!" Hahahahahaha.
Pam: Well, maybe she'll die.

I decided to let Ray drive. With his racist robot monster hand!

Lana: Well, I did get an A in college biology.
Dr. Sklodowska: Oh,wow, great. So when we're traversing the occipital lobe, you'll know what to do if the ship is in imminent danger of phagocytosis by polymorphonuclear leukocytes?
Lana: It actually might have been an A minus.

Ray: Oh! So I'm good enough to drive y'all around?! Great! Maybe on the way we can stop off down the Piggly Wiggly!
Lana: When this is over, I really think you and I should have a nice long talk.
Ray: I'm sorry, am I forgetting my place?
Lana: Little bit.

Pam: I was voted best milker!
Krieger: Me too!
Everyone: Eww.

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Slater: You know what this is? (shows fist)
Archer: Your best gal?

Slater: You know what I don't have time for?
Archer: Shopping for clothes?

Krieger: I've been working on miniaturization for years!
Cyril: Krieger, those were shrinky dinks.
Krieger: It's the same principle!

He's the one ashamed of his hand's heritage, not me!

Malory: Why is she even in this briefing? She's not allowed to go on missions!
Hawley: Because she always stows away somehow, as do Figgis and Dr. Krieger, and Julia Glueis Dreyfuss over there.

The information you're about to hear is top secret. Unauthorized publication or leaking of this information would be an act of high treason, for which you would tried and convicted by a secret military tribunal and summarily executed. So no, Ms Poovey, I don't think a selfie would be appropriate.

Hawley

Archer Quotes

I swear to god you could drown a toddler in my panties right now.

Pam

Cyril: Archer, do something!
Archer: Who am I, Alan Turing? He was also in X-Men, remember?