The information you're about to hear is top secret. Unauthorized publication or leaking of this information would be an act of high treason, for which you would tried and convicted by a secret military tribunal and summarily executed. So no, Ms Poovey, I don't think a selfie would be appropriate.

Hawley

Lana: I don't know, was someone else in here yelling their idiot head off about being in the CIA?
Archer: I don't know! Was someone else making out with Frodo P. Gryffindor here just to make someone else jealous?

Closet rampage!

Goats - what in the Christ - I'll have your hide as boots and the rest of you as a curry!

Lana

Now who wants an widdle ice chip! No? I suppose you'd prefer a nice big bottle of that liquid butter fat.

Malory

Lloyd Llewellyn: We tried to blow up a dam.
Lana: A dam?! What, to flood another bunch of people out of their homes?
Lloyd Llewellyn: Not real people, just English ones!

Krieger: Alrighty, can someone give me a hand?
Cheryl: But Doctor, I thought the patient was getting the hand.
Krieger: Speaking of hands, Nurse, I'm -
Cheryl: Overplaying yours?
Krieger: Well I was gonna say "putty in yours" m'dear but I'll have to hand it to ya!
Cheryl: Hmm - keep your hands to yourself, Doctor.
Cyril: Can we have a show of hands? Who thinks this is getting out of hand?
Ray: Goddammit!! Can you please shut up - and sew on my robot hand!

Don't yell at me, I'm not the one advocating rape and child cannibalism.

Archer: This place is right out of a fairytale.
Lana: Yeah, a fairytale in which the heroine is drugged and kidnapped.
Archer: You realize that's like every fairytale.

Seriously, what is this, the Shire?

Lana

Lana: Just curious, what happened between your bedroom and right now?
Archer: Well, you were hysterical, Lana, so I thought the best thing to do would be inject you with a tranquilizer, drive you to a private air field, put you on a CIA plane, fly you overnight to Wales, and then...that brings us to now.

Pam: How do you not murder her every day?
Krieger: I do!

Archer Quotes

Hawley: Awww screw me!
Archer: ...said Ripley to the android Bishop.

Cheryl: What the stupid shit are you doing??
Cyril: You said you wanted watermelon.
Cheryl: Watermelon's red?
Cyril: Yes. How do you not know that?
Cheryl: Who am I? Charles Frederick Andress?