Archer Season 1 Quotes
Cyril crying about the thought of Lana and Archer back together
Pam: And that's why I don't sleep with co-workers. [Pause] That, and nobody let's me.
Dr. Creiger: I've had good results with ether.
- Permalink: Cyril crying about the thought of Lana and Archer back together ...
(Lana's going away on a mission)
Cyril: Isnt it sudden you going on this mission?
Lana: Noooo....Sudden is wanting your girlfriend to move in with you after only 4 months.
Cyril: (defensive) Just talking about it...and by the way I moved in with my last girlfriend after only 4 weeks.
Lana: (stopping next to Malory, Sterling, Carol and Pam) What are you a lesbian?
Pam: Why would you be into that? (group plus Cyril and Lana turn to stare) Just curious, which was an odd word choice right there and am I talking out loud..
- Permalink: Isnt it sudden you going on this mission? Noooo....Sudden is w...
Malory: So you do want the assignment?
Archer: What? Yeah I want it.
Malory: You really, really, really want it?
Archer: Yes I want it.
Malory: Well too bad, becuase guess what?
(Lana is standing in the doorway with her briefcase.)
Lana: (mocking) Ha-HA!
Archer: (outraged) What! Why does she get the mission!?
Malory: Because I said so, either way we have a plan to catch.
(Getting up to leave with Lana.)
Archer: WE!? Why are you going?
Malory: I'm...umm...uhhhh...(thinking of excuse) going to a conference?
Archer: (annoyed) Oh well isn't that convenient!?
Lana: If you think that's convenient, wait till you see my new kitchen.
Malory: HA! Seriously thou, you should look thru some of her design catalogue's.
- Permalink: So you do want the assignment? What? Yeah I want it. You rea...
Archer: Ha ha ha, Ramon.
Ramon: And just why is that so funny.
Archer: Not that. Woodhouse, he's all tied up somewhere. Scared and alone. Ha ha ha, probably dehydrated.
- Permalink: Ha ha ha, Ramon. And just why is that so funny. Not that. Wo...
No no no no, like a big sweaty fireman carries you out of a burning building, lays you on the sidewalk and you think, yeah, ok he's going to give me mouth to mouth. Instead, he just starts choking the shit out of you, and the last sensation you feel before you die, is that he's squeezing your throat so hard that a big wet blob of drool drips off his teeth and just, plurp, falls right onto your popped out eye ball.Cheryl
- Permalink: No no no no, like a big sweaty fireman carries you out of a burn...
So you just listen to me, Mr Man. Get me some video footage of hot man on man action by tonight, or don't bother coming home!Malory
- Permalink: So you just listen to me, Mr Man. Get me some video footage of h...
Rudi: I'm gonna dress you up like a little gnome and just have you live in my garden.
Woodhouse: I would like some new clothes.
- Permalink: I'm gonna dress you up like a little gnome and just have you liv...
Oh my god, you like, sneeze glitter!Charles
- Permalink: Oh my god, you like, sneeze glitter!
Archer: Do you not see me rocking this chiseled slab of hard man body? I mean come on. Are you gay or not?
Ramon: I am, but you... you are so not my type.
Archer: Hey! I am everybody's type!
- Permalink: Do you not see me rocking this chiseled slab of hard man body? I...