Commander: Is mutiny a joke to you?
Archer: I dunno, maybe a mutiny of clowns.

Can it be fired with an erection?

It has to be your place. Mine totally reeks of ocelot piss.

Cheryl

Bloody mary, blessed are you among cocktails. Pray for me now in the hour of my death, which I hope is soon. Amen.

Best sex i've ever had. That includes Europe, Lana, and my Brazilian au pair.

This time really get in there. All you've been doing is giving one side hell.

Pam

Archer: Where did you learn all that stuff?
Pam: You know I grew up on a farm, right?
Archer: Really hoping that's not relevant.

Your version didn't have coveralls.

He was chasing you all rapey. Fortunately, he's italian so that shouldn't be too hard to sell.

Krieger: I needed help disseminating him.
Cheryl: Eww!
Pam: Not what it means.
Lana: Still pretty gross though.

Cyril: Every single time we come here we have to help you get rid of a dead body.
Malory: Well you've only been here twice.

Lana: Someone is trying to frame Malory for assassinating the prime minister of Italy.
Cheryl: Ooh I bet it's that wicked king.

Archer Season 3 Quotes

Archer: So excuse me for needing some time to grieve.
Rip: By tending bar and banging newly weds?
Archer: Apparently that's my grieving process.

Pam: What a hunk
Cheryl: Total sploosh.
Lana: Yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
Gillette: And whatever my equivalent of sploosh. Which I guess is just sploosh. Only with semen.