Hot Woman in bed: Overpower me! Make me cry!
George Michael: You're a terrible mother.

(holding stuffed animals) These are my awards, Mother. From Army. The seal is for marksmanship, and the gorilla is for sand racing. Now if you'll excuse me, they're putting me in something called Hero Squad.

Buster

(Regarding Buster) Maybe it was the eleven months he spent in the womb. The doctor said there were claw marks on the walls of her uterus. But he was her 'miracle baby'. And I-I was just too burnt out on raising you guys to care. So... He turned out a little soft, you know...

George Sr.

She sometimes takes a little pack of mayonnaise and she'll squirt it in her mouth all over. And then she'll take an egg and kind of...mmmm! She calls it a 'mayon-egg.' Are you okay?

George Michael

Tobias: I'm afraid I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run, if you will. So now I'm afraid I have something of a mess on my hands.
Michael: There's just so many poorly chosen words in that sentence.

What? Oh, no! It's the cops! Oh! And a ... Construction worker.

Gob

George Sr.: Who's on the list? Any blabbers?
Michael: Well, they've got one guy who won't be talking. That is unless there's a hand inside of him.
Tobias: Oh, please, Michael. Even then, I wouldn't say anything.

Oscar: Yesterday I was talking to a lizard and it turned into Elizabeth Taylor.
George Sr.: Young Elizabeth Taylor?

George Sr.: I'm under a lot of pressure here. I'm trying to get my newsletter off the ground. I'm trying to decide which gang to align myself with.
Michael: Is it pledge week already?
George Sr.: I've got it down to two. But honestly, I don't even want to choose. I just feel... I feel like the prettiest girl at the dance.

Gob: Great speech last night.
Michael: Really? What did it inspire you to do, kill somebody?
Gob: Getting there. Marta's cheating on me.

Take me! Take me to your secular world!

Mrs. Veal

I sold your cave on craigslist.

Ann Veal

Arrested Development Quotes

(holding stuffed animals) These are my awards, Mother. From Army. The seal is for marksmanship, and the gorilla is for sand racing. Now if you'll excuse me, they're putting me in something called Hero Squad.

Buster

Maeby: Do you guys know where I can get one of those gold necklaces with a "T" on it?
Michael: That's a cross.
Maeby: Across from where?