Arrested Development Season 1 Episode 16: "Altar Egos" Quotes
Gob: Sorry, did you say seals?
Gob's Wife: Yes! I trade trained seals for a living! Do you ever listen?
Gob: Do you ever stop talking?
- Permalink: Sorry, did you say seals? Yes! I trade trained seals for a liv...
Lindsay: We would like you to tutor our daughter.
Tobias: Now, of course, we are having a bit of a cash flow problem. But I assure you; if you bring our little girl's grades up, I will pack your sweet pink mouth with so much ice cream, you'll be the envy of every Jerry and Jane on the block!
George Michael: But we're the only house on the block.
(Camera shows a shot of the Bluth house in the middle of nowhere)
Tobias: Perhaps we should get somebody else.
- Permalink: We would like you to tutor our daughter. Now, of course, we ar...
Maeby: Enjoy the $200.
George Michael: This is six $20s.
Maeby: That's right.
- Permalink: Enjoy the $200. This is six $20s. That's right.
George Sr.: Hi ... This is not what it looks like ...
Lucille: It looks like you're tweaking her nipples through a chain-link fence.
George Sr.: Yep ... Yeah, that's it.
- Permalink: Hi ... This is not what it looks like ... It looks like you're...
Barry: Do you want to read it?
Michael: No, it is thick. Why don't we just take it?
Barry: I could kiss you on the nuts.
Michael: Yeah, well ... What?
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Michael: (regarding Maggie) I certainly can't take advantage of her now, knowing what I know.
Gob: What? No, Michael, you can. Don't you...? You just won the gold medal at the sexual Special Olympics. She can't ever find you again. Don't you see that you're so lucky? God, how do you not...?
- Permalink: I certainly can't take advantage of her now, knowing what I know...
Gob: Michael, you can save this family. Please, do the right thing here. String this blind girl along so that Dad doesn't have to pay his debt to society.
Barry: The solution to all our problems is staring you right in the face, and it can't even see you.
- Permalink: Michael, you can save this family. Please, do the right thing he...
Lucille: Your father with his disgusting tweaking. I couldn't breast feed any of you kids because of that man.
(Everyone groans except for Barry)
Barry: They still look fabulous.
- Permalink: Your father with his disgusting tweaking. I couldn't breast feed...
Michael: Boy, the lengths you'll go to sleep with a woman.
Gob: Believe me, we didn't do any sleeping. I had sex last night.
Narrator: But he really didn't.
Gob: Yes, I did.
- Permalink: Boy, the lengths you'll go to sleep with a woman. Believe me, ...