Arrested Development Season 1 Episode 5: "Charity Drive" Quotes
Lucille: Supposedly, Luz had to take her daughter to the hospital. That's Lupe, her sister.
Michael: I hope she's okay.
Lucille: She's awful. Can barely wash a dish.
- Permalink: Supposedly, Luz had to take her daughter to the hospital. That's...
Michael: I don't do anything for myself. Everything that I do is for this family.
Lindsay: Oh, you don't do it for us, Michael. You just do it because you love being the guy in charge. 'Cause you love saying no. Like you said to Gob when he wanted a frozen banana. And even after he gave you the rights to his "Mr. Banana-Grabber" character.
- Permalink: I don't do anything for myself. Everything that I do is for this...
Lindsay: What car? I don't know what you're talking about.
Michael: Dad's car. The one you didn't tell me that you had, even though I had to ride my bicycle to work all week.
Lindsay: Oh, Dad's car. Well, obviously, I'm going to use it if it's an emergency.
Narrator: Lindsay had such an emergency three days earlier when her salon was able to squeeze her in at the last moment.
- Permalink: What car? I don't know what you're talking about. Dad's car. T...
Michael: Hey, I can't believe you. I asked you two weeks ago whether we should use Dad's car, and you said it would be bad form. Now, I hear you're driving it!
Gob: That is a lie. A bald-faced lie.
Narrator: Gob was lying. He had been driving his father's car.
- Permalink: Hey, I can't believe you. I asked you two weeks ago whether we s...
Gob: Give me a "Gob."
George Michael: Gob!
Gob: No, I didn't mean for you to yell my name at me. It's what I call a double-dipped banana with everything on it.
- Permalink: Give me a Gob. Gob! No, I didn't mean for you to yell my nam...
(to investors) Bye, you guys! Really great to see you again ... (to Michael) They think you're full of (bleep). I think it's the sweating.Kitty
- Permalink: Bye, you guys! Really great to see you again ... They think you...
Michael: (on the phone with Lindsay, after he had said she was uncharitable) Hello?
Lindsay: I'm in the wetlands. I've got a poker thing and I'm going to clean them up. So, the next time you wanna tell me that I'm uncharitable, why don't you just ask yourself, who called you from the wetlands?
Michael: Who is this?
Lindsay: Nice try. You're the selfish one. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got some nature to save.
(Lindsay hits the ground with her 'poker', and a frog makes a croaking sound)
Lindsay: (Lindsay gasps) AAAAH!
- Permalink: Hello? I'm in the wetlands. I've got a poker thing and I'm goi...
But I'll tell you what. If you want to use my likeness for a Hamburglar-type character, I'll sign off on that. 'Mr. Banana Grabber' or something.Gob
- Permalink: But I'll tell you what. If you want to use my likeness for a Ham...
Michael: Come on, face it. You just do all this charity crap just to stroke your ego. You don't even know what the auction's for tonight.
Lindsay: The wetlands.
Michael: To do what with them?
Lindsay: Dry them.
Michael: Save them.
- Permalink: Come on, face it. You just do all this charity crap just to stro...