Michael: So, it's embezzlement, bribery and conspiracy.
Lucille: And a whole lot of love.
Michael: Oh, right: and perjury.

Stan Sitwell: Five percent? Lucille actually gave you less than her natural children.
Lindsay: I hope that's not a crack about my hair color, lips, forehead, nose and teeth because at least I'm not the wearing a round sweater set on my face.

Jim Cramer: Let's turn to the Bluth's. I love these guys. They beat the treason charges. We had it as a don't buy. Let's bump it up to a risky.
Michael: Risky! There it is! (high fives George Michael) We're doin' it. Are ya happy?
George Michael: I'm really happy. I wonder if we should move out of town.

Those are balls. You're looking at balls here.

Barry

George Michael: I mean, I know it's wrong, you know, but my feelings are real even if it was a mistake.
Michael: Well, obviously, acting on those feelings is not an option. She's a blood relative.
George Michael: I know. I've seen the blood.
Michael: How long has this been going on?
George Michael: I don't know ... 53 weeks? I can't be around her with these feelings anymore, and that's why I'm not going to this party.

Lucille: Michael's right. And I, for one, will not go back to wondering whether there's going to be enough food on the table. (Table creaks and wobbles)
Michael: Might wanna start worrying about the table.

Michael: Keep in mind, we are building something that is not only for our kids, it's also for George Michael and Maeby's kids too.
George Michael: We can't have kids. What's the matter? What are you saying? It's not even an option really.
Michael: Eventually, you'll want to.
George Michael: Sure, I may want to, you know, now. It doesn't matter. Either way, I won't do anything about it. Come on!

Michael: Where is Gob?
George Sr.: Oh, who knows? I don't even know where he lives.
Buster: He doesn't live at Michael's?
Tobias: I've always pictured him in a lighthouse.

Buster: Oh, I'm not comfortable near the ocean since the seal attack. The ocean is my second biggest fear.
Lucille: Good, don't come. I need to be rubbing elbows, not working your fork.

Michael: Hey, are you scared of a monster?
George Michael: Kind of.
Narrator: It was the monster called lust, to which he had recently succumbed.

Lucille: (to the hot sailors) You boys know how to shovel coal?
Narrator: I don't even want to tell you what these guys thought that meant.

Tobias: Although, perhaps I should call the 'hot cops' and tell them to come up with something more nautically themed ... 'HOT sailors' ... or 'hot sea-ma'.
Michael: I like 'hot sailors'.
Tobias: Me, too ...

Arrested Development Season 3 Episode 13 Quotes

Soon, George Michael went to Ann's to try to win her back. But her Uncle Paul told him that Ann had moved in with her boyfriend. He also mentioned that we all only had 3 more weeks on earth and that fossils were just something the Jews buried in 1924.

Narrator

Stan Sitwell: Five percent? Lucille actually gave you less than her natural children.
Lindsay: I hope that's not a crack about my hair color, lips, forehead, nose and teeth because at least I'm not the wearing a round sweater set on my face.