George Michael: What are you doing?
Maeby: I'm just trying to throw stuff at my dad's head, but the wind keeps taking it.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. There's still plenty of meat on that bone. Now, you take this home, throw it in a pot, add some broth, a potato. Baby, you've got a stew going.

Carl Weathers

Michael: Where's Tobias?
Lindsay: He's on the balcony having margaritas with Carl Weathers.

Michael: 14 years, huh? You've got to be doing something right.
Lindsay: Well, if you call not filing for divorce something right.

Marta: Michael, all alone on Valentine's Day? How's that possible? You seem like such a romantic to me. I can just see you showing up on some lucky girl's porch in a tuxedo with a bottle of champagne.
Michael: Yeah. But if I show up with all that stuff, I could probably just get away with shorts and a T-shirt, right? Which is good because I don't even have a tuxedo.
Marta: So, you're saying there's no one that you're even interested in?

Tobias: No, no, no, there's a shower scene? I have to be nude?
Carl Weathers: Hey, you don't shower with your clothes on, now, do you?

Lindsay: Don't worry, sweetie. Mommy and Daddy aren't going anywhere.
Maeby: Ok. I'll go unpack my suitcase.
Lindsay: No! We may have to bolt!

This isn't about my mother! Besides, it's the only way I'm ever gonna get her to respect me!

Buster

I was thinking about that toast you gave at my anniversary party. So, I wanna get a divorce.

Lindsay

To love and happiness. I love you all Marta.

Michael

Narrator: The family continued to chant "speech, speech, speech" for no one in particular.
(clapping ceases)
Michael: Gee, after all that, I was kinda hoping somebody would make a speech.
Buster: Speech! Speech! Speech! Speech!
Michael: I'll say something.
Gob: Typical.

I cheated and I lied. And I whored around.

George Sr.
Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 34 in total

Arrested Development Season 1 Episode 12 Quotes

Marta: Well, as you said, finding out who you really are, it can be painful, but you can't live a lie.
Michael: No, I can't, but some people find a way to make that work.

Tobias: No, no, no, there's a shower scene? I have to be nude?
Carl Weathers: Hey, you don't shower with your clothes on, now, do you?

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