Ann, you need to decide whether you want a man or a boy. I know how I'd answer.

Tobias

Gob: I'm gonna be busy this weekend being a Judge Pageant.
Narrator: Gob has been a Judge Pageant for years.
Gob: Can you believe what it does to your sex life?
Michael: I don't wanna hear it.
Gob: I don't wanna say it. First place, chick's hot, but has an attitude: doesn't date magicians. Second place, is someone weird usually, like a Chinese girl or a geologist. But third of all, although a little bit plain, her super low self-esteem. So I step in and lay her 'crown' upon my sweet 'head'.
Michael: Have I missed this euphemism?

I think we all feel that way about our mothers. And we all have legs.

Gob

(Talking before a beauty pageant)
Ann: I could sing to the camel!
Tobias: Yes, we can Google some disco songs with the word 'hump' in them.
Ann: Cute.
George Michael: No, that sounds a bit racy.
Tobias: Okay, he may be afraid of sex but you're not going to win without it.
George Michael: No, I'm not afraid of sex.
Tobias: Oh, good. Have sex with this girl right now. Do it. Go. Get in there, have some sex with her right now.

George Sr. came across a U.S. Army combat humvee and the Pope-Mobile, and he decided to escape in the bullet-proof one.
(George Sr. steals the Pope-Mobile)

Narrator

And now please welcome Annabelle Veal, performing "We Three Kings" with a camel tow.

Pageant Host

You can control your bladder when you're dead.

Steve Holt

Rita: You are really quite a man, Michael.
Michael: You really think so?
Rita: Oh, yes. You are a complete and utter *bleep*. (kisses Michael and then leaves)
Narrator: I can't believe we had to bleep that. It would've been such a nice moment.

Michael: I'm not going to lie to your son.
Gob: Come on! I lie to yours all the time.

Michael: (about Steve Holt) Your son?
Gob: According to him.
Michael: And a DNA test.
Gob: I heard the jury's still out on science.

Tobias: She's a girl, I need to teach her how to be a woman. Within her lies a queen. Let me out that queen.
Michael: Yeah, I think you just did.

Michael: I was thinking you and I should maybe go play a little catch. You know, maybe go for a run, do some guy stuff.
George Michael: But we're not good at that stuff.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 14 in total

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Arrested Development Season 3 Episode 4 Quotes

Gob: I'm gonna be busy this weekend being a Judge Pageant.
Narrator: Gob has been a Judge Pageant for years.
Gob: Can you believe what it does to your sex life?
Michael: I don't wanna hear it.
Gob: I don't wanna say it. First place, chick's hot, but has an attitude: doesn't date magicians. Second place, is someone weird usually, like a Chinese girl or a geologist. But third of all, although a little bit plain, her super low self-esteem. So I step in and lay her 'crown' upon my sweet 'head'.
Michael: Have I missed this euphemism?

Rita: You are really quite a man, Michael.
Michael: You really think so?
Rita: Oh, yes. You are a complete and utter *bleep*. (kisses Michael and then leaves)
Narrator: I can't believe we had to bleep that. It would've been such a nice moment.

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