Lucille: I'm trying to seduce him.
Michael: Who's the "I" in that sentence?
Lucille: Me.
Michael: You?
Narrator: Her.

Lucille: Everything looks delicious.
Warden Gentles: Oh, One Eye is a wonderful chef. I've had to go to his parole hearings twice and lie through my teeth to keep him here.

(abouting breaking into the prison) It can't be that hard to get into. It's not a Jamba Juice.

Gob

Lucille: You can smuggle yourself out because I'm staying in the conjugal trailer with Warden Gentles.
George, Sr.: Him?

George Michael: Is that a screenplay? Warden Gentles' screenplay?
Maeby: That's what you're going to tell me.

Gob: Sounds like a tennis match between Steffi Graf and Happy Days star Donny Host.
Narrator: That's 'Most'!

I'd rather contribute to TBA!

Benefit Attendee

Narrator: Buster had recently brought home a turtle in an incredibly misguided attempt to make his mother jealous.
Buster: You can stay in this box that Uncle/Father Oscar left behind.
Narrator: In fact, it was a box of Oscar's legally obtained medical marijuana.
Buster: Oh, good, you've already got grass.
Narrator: Primo bud. Real sticky weed.

Michael: You're planning an escape.
George Sr.: How dare you? I oughta shave your head and make you sit under that camera all night, mister.

Displaying quotes 1 - 9 of 21 in total