Arrested Development Season 1 Episode 14: "Shock and Aww" Quotes
Nazhgalia: I'm sorry, Michael.
Gob: I'm sorry, too, Michael, but ... looks like we're even. You took something I liked, I took something you liked. Yeah. I (bleep)ed Nazbakalijan.
Lucille: Michael, the little Korean is here, and I don't know what to do with him. At least, I think it's a him. You've got to strip them down to next to nothing before you could even tell.
Michael: Yeah. Mom, I just spoke to Social Services, and although they don't like to do this, if you can prove that it's a bad environment for a child, and I would suggest saying what you just said to me. Don't change a word. They will take him back.
Ms. Baerly: Oh, hi. Hi, George Michael. I was just looking at this model home. I'm going to go home and think about it. I'm going to go home and think about it.
George Michael: Dad, what was she doing here? I mean, she wasn't ...
Narrator: Michael knew he had an ethical responsibility to tell his son the truth.
Michael: Yes. Your Uncle Gob slept with her.
Michael: Again. Didn't like Nazhgalia.
Michael: Really. And good luck getting rid of her.
Gob: Oh, please. Not a problem. She knows it was a one-time thing. Totally cool.
Michael: So romantic.
Gob: Who's N. Bahn-Ahden?
You're trying to steal from the wrong man. Watch your back, my little immigrant friend.Buster
Ms. Baerly: He knows we're going out. He saw me this morning.
Michael: No, no. I covered that. I told him that you slept with my brother.
Ms. Baerly: That may be the most unethical thing I have ever heard.
Michael: Well, you've only been doing this half a semester. Look, it was a preemptive strike. My brother would have tried to sleep with you.
Ms. Baerly: Wow! Did you make this for me? This is so sweet. I love Hussein.
Michael: You mean, you're interested in him.
Ms. Baerly: Oh, yes. He is a monster. Wow, where did you find this one of him in a Speedo?
Maeby: Who's this?
Buster: Oh, I'm sorry. This is Annyong.
Buster: My mom bought him. She's making me register him for school. He's my new little brother.
Maeby: So, we're related. Hey, do you want to go to a dance?
George Michael: Oh, great, another uncle to compete with.
Narrator: So, George Michael, still angry at Gob, sought out the family expert on making trouble.
Maeby: I know he was dating that girl Shannon.
George Michael: The cheerleader?
Maeby: Yeah, she's probably going to take him to that stupid Diversity Dance. I wish I had someone shocking to take. You know, I actually called Mr. Daniels and asked him, but he got all out of breath and dropped the phone. I never heard back.
George Michael: You know, maybe we should go together. All right, I mean, it's a bad example, I just ... but should we?
Don't you think you should be taking somebody your own age to the dance, like your cousin? Bad example, but ...Michael
George Michael: Why would he do that? Why would Gob sleep with my Ethics teacher?
Michael: Probably just to get even with me.
George Michael: How would that be getting even with you? I'm the one that likes her.
Michael: Right. Right. No, I know. You and I know that, but Gob, you know, he's not that exact of a target shooter. He just kind of sprays it everywhere.
Ms. Baerly: I don't know. I mean, they just threw this class at me after Mr. Daniels had a stroke.
Michael: Oh! (Both laugh) I had him; Mr. Daniels. How is he?
Ms. Baerly: Oh, he, you know, had a stroke.
Michael: Oh. I thought you were joking.