Arrested Development Season 1 Episode 14: "Shock and Aww" Quotes
Nazhgalia: I'm sorry, Michael.
Gob: I'm sorry, too, Michael, but ... looks like we're even. You took something I liked, I took something you liked. Yeah. I (bleep)ed Nazbakalijan.
- Permalink: I'm sorry, Michael. I'm sorry, too, Michael, but ... looks lik...
Lucille: Michael, the little Korean is here, and I don't know what to do with him. At least, I think it's a him. You've got to strip them down to next to nothing before you could even tell.
Michael: Yeah. Mom, I just spoke to Social Services, and although they don't like to do this, if you can prove that it's a bad environment for a child, and I would suggest saying what you just said to me. Don't change a word. They will take him back.
- Permalink: Michael, the little Korean is here, and I don't know what to do ...
Ms. Baerly: Oh, hi. Hi, George Michael. I was just looking at this model home. I'm going to go home and think about it. I'm going to go home and think about it.
George Michael: Dad, what was she doing here? I mean, she wasn't ...
Narrator: Michael knew he had an ethical responsibility to tell his son the truth.
Michael: Yes. Your Uncle Gob slept with her.
- Permalink: Oh, hi. Hi, George Michael. I was just looking at this model hom...
Michael: Again. Didn't like Nazhgalia.
Michael: Really. And good luck getting rid of her.
Gob: Oh, please. Not a problem. She knows it was a one-time thing. Totally cool.
Michael: So romantic.
Gob: Who's N. Bahn-Ahden?
- Permalink: Again. Didn't like Nazhgalia. Really? Really. And good luck ...
You're trying to steal from the wrong man. Watch your back, my little immigrant friend.Buster
- Permalink: You're trying to steal from the wrong man. Watch your back, my l...
Ms. Baerly: He knows we're going out. He saw me this morning.
Michael: No, no. I covered that. I told him that you slept with my brother.
Ms. Baerly: That may be the most unethical thing I have ever heard.
Michael: Well, you've only been doing this half a semester. Look, it was a preemptive strike. My brother would have tried to sleep with you.
- Permalink: He knows we're going out. He saw me this morning. No, no. I co...
Ms. Baerly: Wow! Did you make this for me? This is so sweet. I love Hussein.
Michael: You mean, you're interested in him.
Ms. Baerly: Oh, yes. He is a monster. Wow, where did you find this one of him in a Speedo?
- Permalink: Wow! Did you make this for me? This is so sweet. I love Hussein....
Maeby: Who's this?
Buster: Oh, I'm sorry. This is Annyong.
Buster: My mom bought him. She's making me register him for school. He's my new little brother.
Maeby: So, we're related. Hey, do you want to go to a dance?
George Michael: Oh, great, another uncle to compete with.
- Permalink: Who's this? Oh, I'm sorry. This is Annyong. Annyong. Hello...
Narrator: So, George Michael, still angry at Gob, sought out the family expert on making trouble.
Maeby: I know he was dating that girl Shannon.
George Michael: The cheerleader?
Maeby: Yeah, she's probably going to take him to that stupid Diversity Dance. I wish I had someone shocking to take. You know, I actually called Mr. Daniels and asked him, but he got all out of breath and dropped the phone. I never heard back.
George Michael: You know, maybe we should go together. All right, I mean, it's a bad example, I just ... but should we?
- Permalink: So, George Michael, still angry at Gob, sought out the family ex...
Don't you think you should be taking somebody your own age to the dance, like your cousin? Bad example, but ...Michael
- Permalink: Don't you think you should be taking somebody your own age to th...
George Michael: Why would he do that? Why would Gob sleep with my Ethics teacher?
Michael: Probably just to get even with me.
George Michael: How would that be getting even with you? I'm the one that likes her.
Michael: Right. Right. No, I know. You and I know that, but Gob, you know, he's not that exact of a target shooter. He just kind of sprays it everywhere.
- Permalink: Why would he do that? Why would Gob sleep with my Ethics teacher...
Ms. Baerly: I don't know. I mean, they just threw this class at me after Mr. Daniels had a stroke.
Michael: Oh! (Both laugh) I had him; Mr. Daniels. How is he?
Ms. Baerly: Oh, he, you know, had a stroke.
Michael: Oh. I thought you were joking.
- Permalink: I don't know. I mean, they just threw this class at me after Mr....
Shannon: You're the pig. Two strikes, you are out.
Gob: Oh, listen, Shannon, please, it was a one-time thing. I'm not going to even hear from her again. (Phone rings) Oh! Who is Edna W.?
- Permalink: You're the pig. Two strikes, you are out. Oh, listen, Shannon,...
Buster: Whoa, whoa, whoa! We are not allowed to have candles in here. Mom would freak.
Lucille: Oh, no, it's fine. This is America, baby. You pray how you want.
- Permalink: Whoa, whoa, whoa! We are not allowed to have candles in here. Mo...