Ms. Baerly: Welcome. I'm Miss Baerly, the Ethics teacher. My goal is to teach your children about the preciousness of life that can be lost by the mindless pulling of a trigger.
Michael: Mmm. No ring.

Lindsay: Hey, look, it's not coming from me. It's George Michael. He told me. I think he wants a mother.
Michael: Well, that's ridiculous. He's got you. He's got our mother. You'd think that would turn him off the entire concept.

Cindi Lightballoon: Mr. Bluth, I'm Cindi Lightballoon. I've studied all your teachings, and I've purchased every tape, and I watch them over and over... I've also lost four pounds on your low-carb Bluth Banana Jail Bars. I've come to learn at your feet.
George Sr.: That's a good place to start.

But Gob mistook Michael's basic human decency for a romantic interest, and felt a competitive urge to step in.

Narrator

Gob: This is Shannon, the girl I've been telling you all about.
Michael: Yes. Girl, indeed. Young girl. That's a young, young, young girl.
Gob: Yeah. Well, she's 18, so it's, like...

Ms. Baerly: ... even minor crimes are punishable by brutally chopping off the offender's hand.
George Michael: Oh. No ring.

George Michael: This is my Ethics essay. I'm supposed to write 200 words on the morality of war-whether a preemptive strike is ever justified.
Michael: Absolutely. It's preemptive, you know? Happened before something else, so... if you can predict aggression, and you want to squash it... I don't know why you're not typing this. It's all good.
George Michael: I'm not sure my Ethics teacher would love if I cheated on my essay.
Michael: Well, you just passed my Ethics test.

Gob: Oh, Nagama, you've got a moustache.
Michael: Hey.
Gob: I mean, you've got milk on your moustache. I mean, you've got a milk moustache.

Shannon: You're the pig. Two strikes, you are out.
Gob: Oh, listen, Shannon, please, it was a one-time thing. I'm not going to even hear from her again. (Phone rings) Oh! Who is Edna W.?

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