Lucille: I'm so glad you're here. I want you to help me break up your brother and his girlfriend.
Michael: Well, I'm all for that. We just got to find him first.
Lucille: He's locked on the balcony.
Michael: Oh, you meant Buster. I thought you were talking about Gob.

Rollo: If you care about your brother, you'll get in this car.
Michael: Which brother?

Tobias: Well, I don't need money to hang out with my daughter. Where are you going?
Maeby: We're going shopping.
Tobias: Oh, no, no, I can't do that.

Tobias: There's my little girl. I've got great news. Daddy has the entire day off.
Maeby: But you have every day off ... You don't have a job.

Maeby: Your legs look exactly like mine, and I just shaved mine.
George Michael: So, I'm thinking of getting a motorcycle.

Lindsay: You are too nice.
Michael: Oh, come on, what was I supposed to do, tell her that Gob is not staying here? Tell her that Gob is screwing around on her, God knows where he is? Actually, that-that sounded okay.

Michael: Well, he hasn't been here.
Marta: But he said he was staying here. Oh, my God. Maybe he's staying with another woman.
Michael: No, no, no. No, no, no. No, he is staying here. I just haven't seen him here ... the foyer, or the kitchen.
Marta: Well, that's a relief.

Gob: Real needle, real apple. Real neck.
Amable: He's a zombie!
Marta: They're children! How could you do that?
Gob: Oh, sure, first you dump all over it, now you want to know how it's done.

Marta: I was just looking for Gob.
Michael: Well, you're his girlfriend.
Narrator: Michael wished Marta was his girlfriend, a secret he had only shared with Lindsay.
Marta: Actually, we had a big fight. He thought I was belittling his career, but I never would do that.
Michael: Neither would I. What career?
Marta: The magic?
Michael: Oh, the tricks, the little tricks. Those are great.

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